Lots of stuff, I don't even know how to synthesize a short version just yet. Mixed feelings! I feel seen, validated and even vindicated, but it's also really weird for me to be "stroked and soothed" this way, so the skeptic in me is saying "Yeah, that's how the program is written, like a horoscope, to make you feel good and agree with you." Nevertheless, the report is fully recognisable and certainly frames things in words and angles I haven't been able to do myself. It's not something I should just nod at and file away, it needs to be reexamined bit by bit. On one hand it gives me hope, on the other I'm not sure I can believe the optimism of it (and be disappointed again). Am I the only one with this inner debate? I AM looking forward to try to unpack all of it and if any more insights wil rise to the surface from my subconscious. I can feel myself flailing a little bit, upset and reassured at the same time to be digging into these things I thought it would be fun, as an extension, to grab a few quotes from the report and see if there are any reactions to them in here. Maybe that can clarify some things even more - although it's hard to pick just a few! ------ About my work methods that don't really produce finished results - I don't feel like we solved that one, but very interesting descriptions about how my brain works (and why I shouldn't try to change it) Here is what's actually happening: your brain is not failing to finish projects. Your brain is operating an associative, web-shaped cognition in a world that only rewards linear, output-shaped cognition. The reason you can't split a day in half is not a willpower deficit. It's that your neurology runs on momentum and depth, and "switching" doesn't mean closing one tab and opening another. It means dismantling and rebuilding an entire internal architecture. That costs hours, not minutes. Your brain knows this. That's why it resists. It's protecting the cathedral it just built. Not chaos. Not laziness. A vehicle that was built for the autobahn being asked to navigate a parking lot.

Feeling very low today, I found out that someone who adopted a foster dog from me, has stage 4 cancer and is having to go through aggressive chemotherapy and now needs the dog rehomed. I feel so bad for them as they are such lovely people and have thought long and hard about this but feel that in the best interest of the dog they need to rehome him. I wish I could have him back but unfortunately I am not in a position to take him. Is there anyone in the UK who is experienced with large dogs who can help?