It’s absolutely and completely crippling me, and one of the biggest things I’m struggling with. I’m gonna be super open and vulnerable here, and so I do apologize for any rawness or negativity. Growing up, I’ve always been small. Smallest dude in my family. Playing sports I was too skinny. I got muscle, then I was too short. I lost weight from grief, and now I was too short and too skinny. I struggle with really really bad body dysmorphia, and it’s one of the reasons why I rarely send pictures of myself or my outfits here, because of how harshly I judge myself in them. I think the main reason it stems, though I’m no psychology expert, is from feeling helpless, tiny, and worthless as a kid. Growing up with a neglectful, covertly narcissistic dad, I was his golden child. And so love was conditional. I did one thing wrong, silence for days. My family, they had titles for us. And so desperately I wanted to be seen. To have something that separated myself from the rest. Whether it was athletics, music, anything, I was desperate to be seen for who I was, instead of an extension of my dad. I was so sick and tired of being ignored. Being told my reality wasn’t real. And being gaslit. And having seen and experienced a lot of physical abuse myself, and being powerless to stop it, and stop it against those I love, hurts me too. My stepbrother and I were both physically picked on by my dad. And when my stepbrother hit his growth spurt and grew to six foot two, he got left alone and my dad stopped hurting him. But I stayed the same height, and size, and where I was. And so it didn’t stop for me. Now this was long ago, and I escaped it. I stood up to him finally and built a life for myself. I’m safe now, and away from all of it. But it still hurts me. And honestly it stems in this insecurity about my height. I’m the smallest guy I feel no matter where I go. The gym. Church. Church especially. There’s this mold for how guys are supposed to look like. And they’re always tall. I don’t mean to sound like a victim saying this. But it’s frustrating feeling like you won’t be someone’s first pick.

What to say in your intro? Share where you're from, your reason for joining, perhaps your favorite fragrance, watch or a picture of you dressed sharp! It's a small action, but a HUGE step in you getting value from this community becasue you go from being a lurker to an ACTIVE member. In fact men that introduce themselves are 10X more likely to the actions to becoming their best selves. Bonus Point - By introducing yourself you're guaranteed to level-up. Seriously, you'll get at least 5-20 likes/points (oftentimes more) which will move you to level 2 and possibly level 3. And just like that you have access to more of this community!

Of course I didn't take a picture until the end if the day. Burning 4,000 calories will where anyone out. First day of fair I wore my tiger stripe Hawaiian shirt with brown wrangler cargo pants. JK super duty boots, and silver belly Stetson. It was a long day, and I was beat by the end of the day.