Just did the first part of my Operating Manual and finally understood something: the reason I'm "not sure what I'm actually good at" is that I've spent years being graded on the one skill I'm not wired for. And the trap that keeps winning isn't laziness - it's that helping everyone else gives me the finished feeling my own tasks never do.

📅 Daily Check-in - August 13, 2026 💭 Reflection: "Yesterday was calmer than the previous two days. Actually it only remained like that until my eldest came home. He decided at the last minute that he wasn't going to football training and marked himself absent because it was an indoors session. Right after the coaches gave the teams heaps last week for doing this exact thing. He didn't provide a reason either. So he made sure he wasn't going by moving a crate behind the door so we couldn't open it. I had to go to football training anyway as I had to drop off some empty platters and a slow cooker for our quiz night fundraiser on Saturday night. While out, I was getting text messages from my eldest. His Dad had growled and believe me, he can be quite scary when he gets like that. So he's freaking out. Eventually, in the pouring rain, I managed to get home. Mended some bridges with him but I still stood my ground. On Friday, he has to apologise to both of his coaches and explain why he didn't want to leave the house (heavy rain and frightened he was going to be cut off with sudden flooding from the rest of us - we've been caught out twice before). He then must take the consequences dished out by the coaches. If it means no game on Sunday, then he has to accept it. So I've held my boundary with him - it was hard for me just as it was for him as he lives and breathes football. He can't go through life just changing his mind constantly even though it is part of his ADHD. In the meantime, he's become more weary of his Dad which is sad but I completely understand. Here's hoping today is a better day with getting the youngest off to school today." 📊 Wellbeing Scores: 😊 Happiness: 7/10 ⚡ Energy: 7/10 🎯 Focus: 7/10 😌 Calmness: 7/10 🌙 Sleep Quality: 6/10 🔥 Motivation: 7/10 ⭐ Average: 6.8/10 ✅ Activities from yesterday: 💧 Stayed Hydrated 🥗 Healthy Eating 🍺 No Alcohol ☕ No Late Caffeine 🥩 Hit Protein Goal 🥦 Ate Vegetables 🍳 Home Cooked Meal 👥 Quality Time 👂 Active Listening

As someone with a massive following who has in he last few years given his life to God I now have no idea how to pivot my content towards that change. I dont know if I want to be a full on pastor or do I simply want to be a witness in my day to day life. I write a lot but it feels like I'm caging away super helpful ideas that could help others and ADHD has me with a billion ideas with nowhere to start. I want to find my way in aiming this here.