Sharing something raw, because this is what the "the healing work actually looks like." Back in April, as part of my healing, I wrote a forgiveness letter (unsent) to a family member who's shut me out in cycles over the years. It was never meant to be sent, it was for me. Today happened to be a special day for her, and that alone was enough to reopen a bit of the hurt. (to be trughtfull it hurst like hell, and the pit of my stomach, aches) Here's the part I want to explain, because I don't think it's talked about enough. An anniversary or a special date gets filed in your nervous system right next to the original wound. The person doesn't have to be in the room. The date alone fires the same emotional chemistry, the old thought loop starts running, and suddenly something you'd healed in April feels raw again in August. If you live with RSD, you know how fast that whisper arrives: you're the problem, you caused it, you have to fix it right now. That's not backsliding. A letter written in April did its job in April. A date pressing the bruise months later doesn't undo the healing, it just shows the bruise is still tender, which is completely normal for a pattern that's decades old. I thought I was done with the greif, the hurt, so I YEP, leant in on the AI Harmony tool to help me - manage the narcisstic behaviours and patterns. Working through it, a few truths steadied me, and they hold for anyone: - A wound that's decades old doesn't heal in a straight line. Tender on a trigger day isn't failure, it's just healing that isn't finished yet. - The RSD voice screaming "you're bad, you ruined it, fix it now" is old code, not truth. A feeling is not a fact, and someone else's reaction is information about them, not a verdict on you. - You can love someone and still not hand them your peace. I started today in tears. I'm ending it steady. Not solved, not perfect, just steady, and able to come back faster than I used to. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗻. 𝗜𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀: 1. Name it out loud: "This is a date-triggered wound, not a new one." Naming it shrinks it. 2. Write the unsent letter. Not to send, to release. It's for your nervous system, not theirs. 3. Take the feeling to your tribe, not to the person who caused it. Get witnessed by someone safe. 4. Measure the win by how fast you come back, not by never falling.

im new here, 49 yo woman, and im super ADHD, glad i have found people that get it… hope everyone has a super week!!!