📅 Daily Check-in - April 17, 2026: I am so proud of myself for getting through the pile of my hand written notes that I accumulated during my travels this past week. It felt insurmountable as it stared at me from the countertop and feelings of failure crept into my brain because I had not perfectly used my system. When I realized how bad it was making me feel, I knew I had to deal with it asap so I went into a bright, quiet space alone with my computer and the stack of notes. Then, I set a timer for five minutes and told myself that I only had to do it for five minutes. Then, I took one piece of paper at a time and put them into my new life system Sage and I created a few weeks ago. When the five minutes timer went off, I was on a roll and kept going, again and again and again. It took less than an hour. I didn’t fail in using my system, I had a small set back which I dealt with. I remind myself that I am an human being; I am not perfect and never will be. No point in wasting time and energy looking backward at what I “should” have done. I dealt with what was in front of me and used my energy to get back on track. I am grateful for my new system; it’s going to be sustainable because it works well with how my brain works. I made another smart choice today when I took breaks while working outside on this hot day. Got a lot done in the meadow and along the creek including planting two figs which I transplanted from my daughter’s land in NC. After a long dry spell, I’m grateful it’s finally raining tonight which will be great for the new plants and flower seeds that I sowed last week. MY BIG AH HA MOMENT today came when I saw Jim’s new “what is your biggest struggle” post today for all the newbies. I immediately remembered when I saw a similar post when I first got on the platform. At that time, I could have chosen every single one of the struggles from procrastination, to planning, to overwhelm, etc. But when I read the list in Jim’s post today, none of them felt like a “struggle” to me anymore. I still have challenges with my AuDHD TBI brain but the scaffolding that I have put in place is giving my brain the support and help it needs. It feels amazing to feel so much less anxiety…to feel true calm not just for a moment but for hours.

I did my quick adhd snapshot yesterday, feeling rather sceptical about it, but it was remarkably kind and empathetic. One thing that was a bit of a revelation. I have this strange dysfunctional empathy. I feel sorry for struggling animals and stop to talk to random dogs and cats that I meet. There was a magnificent husky with an elderly and lame black Labrador that I met one day, and I said “what a beautiful dog!” and stroked the lab, because I thought he probably heard people praising the husky all the time and could do with some validation. I feed the birds, the squirrels and the visiting fox in our garden and adopted a scruffy, smelly old dog, who was about to be put down by his owner, because she couldn’t care for him any more. I love him. I even feel sorry for tree saplings who are in danger of being weeded out of the flower borders, so I dig them up and put them somewhere safe, where they can hopefully live their best life. It probably doesn’t take a genius to suppose that I’m pouring the empathy into stray animals that I can’t give myself, but that’s what the AI suggested and it felt very insightful. Whether it indicates ADHD is another question that I haven’t resolved yet.