After really thinking me and jodi would get back together things have definitely took a downward turn! Its started by Wednesday night work going mad at me telling me I need to get the job done quicker They were bang out of order to me I always try my best! The next day I was at jodis and was supposed to stay there until I left for work I said something which upset her and she told me to leave! I went but forget my phone and wallet so as I went back in she was walking up the stairs in her underwear Sorry she said I didnt know you would be coming back in and because I was angry I said its ok you always do it anyway Meaning the times she has been in the kitchen and told me to advert my eyes! I have quit porn and webcams so even her saying that has a effect on me so I had do my best to explan this before but as I snapped she said from now on you are here for jack and him only i don't want and relationship with you at all! I walked out the door phoned in sick for my shift and went on a walk with the intention of ending my life! She messaged asking if I was safe and when I didn't confirme I was or not she called the police and they was looking for me! The end result i can't now pick up or take my son to school or even see him for the time being until safe guarding checks have taken place But I did go to his show at school yesterday of him playing drums I gave him a cuddle at the end and told him how proud I was and then as I left the school I walked out crying and there was my wife standing right by the door I didn't make eye contact with her but I see her face drop seeing me so upset I carried on walking really hopeing she might try to comfort me or send someone else to but I know she did message my sister and best friend to say I was in a bad way! Just had my 1st bit of food since Wednesday and took a mental health medication for the 1st time ever in my life Feel so alone and so lost but I have now fully accepted there is no future for me and jodi

So just watched lesson 3 and instinctively agree that talking about the problems just makes your partner feel pressured. As of Monday this week I regained enough emotional control to shut up. That was after the first two weeks of behaving like every other man in this situation- panicked, confused, upset, needy etc. My partner has calmed down around me and we watched TV together again last night although she capped it off by asking if I could buy some plastic crates today sonshe can declutter ahead of house photos being doe Mon by estate agent. I am remaining calm and once again I now recall during last Aprils "conversation" my partner said "You are better at arguing than me!". I now understand i woukd reaction defensively and use logic to justify my position, rather than trying to understand how that had made her FEEL. Post April I thought I had done well in not "outarguing" her but had fundamentally missed the point of what she was saying. I am still worried at the pace at which this separation is progressing and that will get worse if we get good offers in quickly for the house after it goes upnfor sale next week. Timing of listing just before schools break for summer and general property market against us but we shall see. Great video Mark , all made sense to me. Heading home now to have dinner.with partner and kids, then TV. No raising problems from me tonight that is for sure

So - watched video 1 and pleased to say as of Mon this week have been avoiding the attraction killers. Video 2 - i now understand that my partner lost faith that things were going to change, at least to the degree she needed, to show her a different future awaited rather than more of the same.......she unloaded on me when drunk last April, I think I made progress on some points but maybe not others and she noticed patterns of repeated behaviours she didnt like. My partner stated whilst out on a date night in Feb/March after a few drinks (again drunk mouths betray sober hearts) that she didnt feel we were connected (exact phrase Mark's video uses) and I still deluded myself that we were ok but subconsciously felt increasingly uneasy. Now I get it.

I’ve had the most bizarre two days, first my wife doesn’t want to know me,I found out this morning that my wife has stopped messaging this guy she’s had on the side, I think he’s given her the cold shoulder, she was keeping her phone on her everywhere she went, now she leaves it so I can see it, she has also removed the lock from WhatsApp. She is now kind off talking to me showing interest, wanting to go on days out with the children, asking me if I’m ok, im so confused is this just her in a rebound as he has called it off, I don’t want to confront her yet as she is being nice. I’m a bit hurt that one of her friends was encouraging her to be with this other man, quite cruel as I’ve been suffering with mental health. We vowed In sickness and in health, don’t see much of this in her mind.

Hi - my general anxiety levels pretty high - wake up at 3 to 4am not just due to personal situation but work also a significant factor with things continuing to go south and another round of redundancies. Trying to find ways to fight the anxiety and read EMDR bilateral stimulation is good. Has anyone tried this, what did they use amd was it any help?