Hi lads, about a month ago I found out my wife of 10 years is having an emotional affair. I’ve spent the last month having a nervous breakdown. I’ve been questioning myself why 24/7 and trying to monitor her every move. After research and reviewing channels like this, I have very much realized this is about shifting focus to working on self improvement and taking complete ownership of working on myself, I am starting to accept the marriage is done (for now) but the stage I’m struggling with is finding the right structured self improvement steps I can take right now. So far I’ve started to go to a gym and improved my diet, I’m a more active listener with my family and prioritize family over my work. Where I’m struggling is with socializing and meeting new friends. I think socializing would help me improve my communication skills and keep my mind focus on me, I’ve enjoyed sharing my life experiences with others and hearing their stories. Does anyone have any ideas on joining social groups or activities I could be doing for self improvement? Any ideas would be a massive help!

just been to pick up my little boy, wife is talking to me talking to me calmly and had a little joke, is she like this because this is the situation she wants?

Good afternoon everyone. First off hello, and thanks again for the help so far @Mark Cox My situation is like most here, after 21 years of being with my wife, 10 of them married, she turned round to me on the 19/04/26 that she no longer wanted to be in the relationship and marriage. No other people are involved from either side, we slowly over time grew distant and through a lot of my actions and the way I was in the relationship and marriage she decided enough was enough. In this month I have struggled so much with my mental state of mind and my actions that only shows her she made the right decision to leave. We have 2 children, so we still see each other nearly every day, I did move out our family home, as I felt it was the right thing to do as if staying it would have only made matters worse. I’ve made a lot of errors so far, I’ve done the begging, the pleading, changed my whole lifestyle to show her I can be the man she deserves and while doing it for me as well to become a better man all round I am doing it for her too. She has no feelings what so ever and has said on the day we ended she felt relieved, no more stress, didn’t miss me and feels nothing inside, this plays in my head daily and breaks me everytime. She hasn’t really opened up to anyone, friends or family where I’m a broken man daily. I can’t see a future without her and will do all I can to save my marriage, I’ve always had a lack of patience and I want her to say everyday “oh ok let’s try 1 more time” but I know I’m going to have to run about 100 marathons and hope she is waiting at that finish line. Currently I know deep down that’s highly unlikely. I’ve broken down so many times when I’ve seen her, and I know that’s only pushing her further away I need to get out of this mindset and try and be normal and myself and show her I can still be the man and the husband as I’ve said she deserves. I know I was 90/10 to blame for the break down and I know in time I can show her and change for the good.

Hi guys how is everyone hope everyone is on there journey and healing but I’m not going to lie I’m Really struggling at the moment I have my Good days then my bad days it’s like I don’t Know wether I’m coming or going I’m finding it really tough with the mother Of my kids in all aspects she’s an avoidant so it makes it even harder to get her to even talk she’ll happily just go silent on me for a long time.. how do you fix things if she’s not willing to even talk right now… I know she’s hurt From what she saw in my Phone but we had broken up in August 2025 so I wish she’d give me a conversation where we could actually Talk and sort through things I don’t know if this is the end for us but it’s been no improvement since Feb really…