Now this isn’t a big one -and I’m smiling to myself while I’m writing this… but my wife has started walking round the house with no pants on! 😂 She did it a few times last week around bedtime after the kids had gone to bed - and I thought ok maybe it’s warmer lately or she just forgot or something. And then today she did it before the kids went to bed. She came into the kitchen while I was talking to the kids to make a cup of tea and she joined in the conversation- when I turned round she was just in t-shirt and knickers! Now, I did say to her lightly - can you put some pants on - and she just refused and said she is going to bed in a minute anyway. Now the reason I’m putting it on here - is to run by you my thought process behind this (no pun intended) Now I don’t think she is doing this to seduce me. (Although she knows I’ve always said she has an amazing bum!) i genuinely think she isn’t even thinking about it at all. - it probably is just her being lazy after work or feeling a bit warm. But, (again no pun intended) my goal over the last week or so is for calm and peace in the house. I want to appeal to her nervous system - if that makes sense - so that she feels safe around me again - without her even noticing it. As in the months before this - she has not wanted to be around me, she would ask me to leave the room if she wanted to get changed and things like that. So I’m wondering if going about things this way is a healthy way? Working on being friends again, her feeling comfortable around me without pressure? And obviously - I know not wearing pants is a bit of a ridiculous sign to use for her nervous system relaxing around me! - I will look out for other examples too! - who knows what next will happen!! 😂 We have been invited as a family to a bbq at the end of the month so I’ve sent her a message about it and left it with her - said that there is no pressure either way if she wants to come with us or not. - but I’ve left the invite with her and we will see what she thinks about it. (I’ll tell her is strictly a pants on event!)

So after chilling at hers last night while my son was at her sisters her reading a book me watching the France game this morning I heard her awake so left the sofa to take the dog out for a toilet! I brought her up a coffee then her new her mattress come Thats the reason I stayed because she needed to go pick up our son then bring him back and go to work! Manged to drag the old mattress downstairs on my own so it was ready for the men Then when the new one was on her bed she was checking it out in her room She said to me test it encouraging me to lay down on it! I said its your bed not mine I lay down on it with her and thought fuck it and kissed her on the cheek She goes that was very close to my lips smiling at me I said wasn't kissing your lips I am a good boy I am changed man but you look a little disappointed she smiled and went red I said I can get naughty with you anytime you know I love you She smiled and laughed and goes anyway time to go and collect jack and kissed me herself on my cheek Really feeling its only a matter of time now fingers crossed

Currently at my wife's as was with the dog and my son until he went to his aunties at 4 he is going to cinema with her and staying ar hers 2night! My wife will be finishing work in ten mins I have made her dinner why do i feel so nervous Northing is gonna happen tonight just feels weird that my son is out so we could actually talk or just hang out !

So yesterday we had a talk at dinner. We started looking at why we behave the way we do and talking about how our childhoods have moulded us. I started feeling a bit more of a connection and ended up pushing too hard and made it all about myself. It didn't end well. I went to bed really analysing myself and have realised that my depression is much deeper than I had originally thought. I'm not the man I used to be. I've become grumpy, angry and am blaming everyone but myself. And then I realised how much she had been doing over the last few years to try and pull me out of it. I felt so guilty. I spoke to her about it this morning. As honestly as I could. We both broke down crying, she held my hand (first sign off any form of affection in months). She's still planning on leaving and I understand why. I've got a lot of work to do, starting with a GP appointment today (and I think I'm going to start surfing). I'm emotionally drained, petrified of what's around the corner but feel like I'm starting to see the real issues now.

Just helping jodi with a few things round her house her mate messaged about having some jobs done at her house because the work man is fit I joked to my wife that will be you in a few years or your turn lesbian joking She goes no if what you want to happen (getting back together) doesn't happen i will be a nun I had a little smile to myself that's the 1st time she has acknowledged that it is possible a few weeks ago it was I need to be selfish and be on my own and she couldn't ever trust me again! Massive progress since joining this group Getting ready to go and go my night shift I asked her if there is anything she needs before I leave and kissed her on the head to say bye and she then asked me if I want to stay over 2mo to make things easier when she has to leave for work on Saturday But really started to believe this might just might happen and if it does i will cherish and love her everyday because I have been such a idiot! Keep believing fellas do it for you end whatever crap cycle your in we are all worth so much more!