were we supposed to start week four Thursday? or wait for tues

📅 Daily Check-in - May 30, 2026 💭 Reflection: "Honestly, I don't know what to write. I don't have anything on my mind at the moment. Maybe that's a good thing. At the same time, I'm not feeling much of anything, which too could be a good thing. However, I could easily change both of those if I let myself lose focus. I don't even know what I'm focusing on. I guess "in the present" or I will go to no-man's land." 📊 Wellbeing Scores: ⚡ Energy: 4/10 🎯 Focus: 5/10 🔥 Motivation: 4/10 ⭐ Average: 4.3/10 ✅ Activities from yesterday: 🍺 No Alcohol ☕ No Late Caffeine 🙏 Prayer ✨ Positive Mindset 📵 No Social Media 📚 Reading 🧠 Learning 🤝 Helped Someone 👂 Active Listening

I am very sensitive to "tough love", as I always got the TOUGH part but never the LOVE... So I don't actually thrive with that. HOWEVER, I realized a gentler way to redirect myself. I can tell myself that ALL I have to remember is that there are always TWO "channels" playing: the one that gets me stuck and keeps me stuck (or worse), and the one that uplifts me. So if there are always TWO channels playing, then at any moment of any day, I can tune in and ask myself which channel am I "tuned into" right now? And instead of feeling frustrated or feeling like I have to somehow eliminate the channel that is keeping me stuck (in a misguided attempt to keep me "safe"), I can simply bring that one with me AS I tune into the other channel. My daughter left yesterday for the summer. I went from literally 24-7 at home with her taking care of her being present with her managing my emotions (not temper but more grief fear etc)... to... gone. In the past, being honest, i would have basically disassociated for i don't know how long after she left. I don't have "family " that I can ACTUALLY be safe around. So I go from hard core running the ship completely to completely isolated 😬 But all of that to say, it is less than 24 hours after she left... and I have already made different choices this time. 🥳 At first it felt like "why bother? NO ONE is seeing me today etc".. but ultimately I realized that I self abandoned ALLL the time in the past. And I'm NOT freaking doing that this time!! I truly need to treat this as two people live here. TWO. Me AND her. And just because she is currently gone doesn't mean *I* don't still exist. But that is NEW for me. Truly. So that being said, I have done a load of laundry and done a workout! And before that I took my vitamins and have drank a lot of water and eaten protein! And had aha moments! This is probably the way I'd be acting in the past by Wednesday after she left. So from Saturday to Wednesday in the past, I'd be basically disassociated. Not really eat or drink until I was starving and then it would be total junk. Most likely would have drank a decent amount too. To escape the absolute jarring feeling of going from 24/7 to nothing. Especially where she's going and all of that.

📅 Daily Check-in - May 31, 2026 💭 Reflection: "Wow. It's been a full on day where the 3-minute Come Back protocol was developed. I felt emotionally drained as things that were buried for years and years finally started resurfacing again (although they do surface from time to time usually to ruminate over and create a spiral downwards). I had quality family time with my brother and two of his three sons where we shared a few laughs which lit me up and my soul truly felt rejuvenated again. Gone well past my bedtime but that's ok. Tomorrow is going to be another day and I wont focus on the severe weather warnings around the place - I'm going to make the most of my inside time. Good night world, NZ signing off!" 📊 Wellbeing Scores: 😊 Happiness: 6/10 ⚡ Energy: 5/10 😌 Calmness: 6/10 ⭐ Average: 5.7/10 ✅ Activities from yesterday: 🛏️ Good Sleep 💧 Stayed Hydrated 🌬️ Breathwork 🌿 Grounding 🥗 Healthy Eating 🍺 No Alcohol ☕ No Late Caffeine 🥩 Hit Protein Goal 🥦 Ate Vegetables 🍳 Home Cooked Meal 🧘‍♂️ Meditation 📝 Journaling 🎯 Deep Work 🌅 Focused Morning 🎓 Online Course 👥 Quality Time 🤝 Helped Someone 🎉 Social Event 🍽️ No Phone at Dinner 👂 Active Listening