I don't think I have ever had my energy drained so fast as last night. Trying to teach someone how to play cribbage and all the other players are chiming in. All that noise just drained me. I just walked away. Still feeling drained today and it is difficult to focus on work. But some days just showing up is good enough.

Does anyone have the same issue as me with books? I start a book, or even finish it, I am fully (mostly extremly) motivated, but when it comes down to Implementing the stuff something in me is against it. And VERY OFTEN it was even good for me that I did. Be it astrology, rituals from 90's Tv books, Angel rituals and later starseed crap(which funny enough of one of these fanatics made me first aware of morphogenetic fields) was actually all bogus and just a way to rip off people. This enforced my belief that nearly NOTHING coming from.the spiritual corner can actually be trusted sadly. That put another block in me in going through with meditations and other things, even IF it might help me.I am glad I know it's the ADHD, but I'm leaning more towards just being angry, because I'm in a sort of limbo regardless....The exercises in the book are great, yet I only impleneted the telling myself "I love you" and the breathing(twice, maybe trice lol)....