This is not easy to write because my perimenopausal ADHD demons are shouting very loudly right now and I'm feeling a lot of shame. This is likely to be a long post so if you are one of the people who makes it to the end then thank you so much. 🙏 (If not, I understand, no judgement here!) I have done almost nothing of the work so far and the standard ADHD negative self talk and self-worth battering is kicking in - and I know you know exactly the kind of stuff it's saying! The reasons I haven't started properly are: - There are 1001 things that need doing following a long, drawn out house move that I am finding all-consuming. - The kids are now off school (both ND, one diagnosed ADHD) and require my executive function power that is already running very low. - Perimenopause has made ADHD 100 times worse than I've ever known it. This is not about sitting in a helpless, victim state though. I know I have the power to change, I've done so much in the last ten years to improve my mental and emotional health. It's just that right now, things are much harder and I want to reach out to you all to help get me started. So, firstly I want to acknowledge my wins: - I've signed up to the programme! - I've taken the first step by starting to watch the onboarding replay. - I showed up last week to the live on Tuesday. - I knew a lot already about the Week 2 content and I am implementing some small steps. - Even though I haven't used it yet, I think I've signed up to Sage. - And probably the most important - I've posted here, naming my shame, feeling massively vulnerable, to a room of people who I don't know but who I'm trusting will understand the kind of challenges I'm experiencing. And secondly, I need connection. I don't mean joining the WhatsApp group or commenting and reading here - that's good but it only goes so far for me. I thrive on real, video call connection. Buddying, co-working, or just a chat would be amazing. If you're up for it, please give me a shout.

Daily check-ins are not optional for me, but I don't typically post them. This one just felt different and I wanted to share. 💭 Reflection: "As I have been doing this program, I have committed to spending my mornings (fresh energy) on my creative projects (novel or screenplay writing or designing my course for writers.) Today, I expected to get up, enjoy my morning launch, and then sit down to write my novel. Instead, I felt a pull to work on my course for writers instead. I decided to lean into that (honoring my sacral authority), and I ended up creating solid outlines for two lesson modules for my course and drafting an early version of the voiceover scripts I will use when filming the videos. I have been overwhelmed about the course in general, and trying to decide what next steps would make sense, but today it felt as if my mind had been running problem-solving software in the background for over a week while I've been working on my own writing projects instead. This morning, it all floated to the surface in surprising ways. I feel so accomplished. This part of my course is what will really set me apart from other writing courses, so I've known it needed to really deliver for my students. I feel twenty pounds lighter, and my excitement around this course has more than doubled in just one morning. I can't believe I've gone so many years ignoring my sacral authority and hoping to have a modicum of energy left at the end of my workday to pursue the things that really light me up. No wonder my nervous system is screaming at me to change my day-to-day life. My key takeaway today is that I can't go back and change the past, but the only thing worse than living a life out of alignment is to keep living it that way." 📊 Wellbeing Scores: 😊 Happiness: 8/10 ⚡ Energy: 7/10 🎯 Focus: 7/10 😌 Calmness: 7/10 🌙 Sleep Quality: 7/10 🔥 Motivation: 7/10 ⭐ Average: 7.2/10