Are you guys here to grow? To be better? Or are you just comfortable in your state of discomfort? Tyler built this city for us to rock and roll but this seems like a whole bunch of panic and really no disco...

So I am very disappointed in myself 😞. I passed the last three quizzes/tests and now I got a 22% I failed and I'm so disappointed. I know I can do better and I know I shouldn't be beating myself up over it but idk . I am having a lot of stress and it's been very emotionally overwhelming for me . I wish I would stop being tested and graded on everything I do I feel like life is just a big test and people are there to watch you fail over and over again . I want relationships and I can't even figure out how to form words and set boundaries. And now my "stepmom" will officially be my stepmom my dad is proposing on Saturday hopefully!!!!!! Only really good part of my week . I am bummed out . I'm tired of people (my sister) bragging about how she has this amazing buddy buddy relationship with our mom and kinda throwing it in my face that I can't be loved and nutured by someone who's supposed to be there and care . I just appreciate that I have this community of people on here that care, but I also feel as if you guys are the only ones who do . Uggh sometimes I just get stuck in a mental loop and wish I could just drown everything and everyone else out .

Yesterday Beef jerky stick -100 calories Half a protein bar- 110 calories Today Lunch I had a muscle milk (160cal) at lunch and then a teacher brought in some LaRosa’s from a party they were having. I had 3 of the little chicken bites- each about the size of a boneless wing (based on the website- maybe 200cals) . And a spoonful of the icing from a cake. I didn’t even think before I did it! IT WAS SO GOOD! Then the emotionally noise kicked in. Why did you eat that junk? Your so dumb for eating that. You don’t have any discipline. You’re going to gain. What a waste of calories. I even attempted to purge right after. But then I stopped and thought about my mindset. Don’t let the emotion drive my decision. Ride the wave. This will pass. And for the most part, it did. I still feel the anxiety. My body feels tense. But I feel like maybe I won in this moment. I’m stressed about tonight - going out to eat and then seeing a Broadway musical - my favorite thing to do. It brings me so much joy. I keep studying the menu for the restaurant and am feeling overwhelmed at the lack of “safe” foods. My plan for the day is to just try and ride the wave.

Hey team, Just gonna go out on a limb here and ask if anyone is actually finding value in the live calls/weekly VIP calls and now our office hours? I am currently solo in the office hours and questioning whether or not there is value in doing these moving forward. I lowered the pricing of premium and stopped the weekly workouts due to no attendance and I just want to provide you all with something that you find value in, and also make it a feasible option for myself and my time as well. Let me know your thoughts below - thanks!