Tonight I have the night off. Husband is in Portland. My 2 girls are having a sleep over with their grandparents. I have an entire night to do whatever I want. I’ve been battling all day on want to do. One part of me wants to go out- sit on a patio - order apps and have some cocktails. Maybe even put on a little sundress! The other part wants to hide in the house. Isolate. Avoid food and anything that might make me want to eat. I think this is the first time (that I’ve noticed atleast) that my relationship with food is actively stopping me from wanting to be social. And that makes me really sad.

I stopped doing these because I felt silly. Felt like i was just repeating myself and taking focus from others. But since stopping, I feel like I’m slowing starting to hide again and making excuses. So here we are. Breakfast- coffee Lunch- nothing Dinner @ 6pm with family at kitchen table 1 cup egg roll in a bowl Calories -310 Fat- 20 Protein- 23 Feeling- Felt forced. Didn’t feel better until I went for a walk. 11pm- hot tea I woke up this morning and weighed myself. I’ve been stuck at a weight and can’t get below it. I know by losing weight I’m “failing”. I know that once I get to my goal, it’s just going to move another 10 pounds. Tyler always ask “when is enough enough?”. And honestly I don’t know. But I know I’m not okay. After posting my vent in the void- I reread it. And decided to contact a therapist. I don’t know if I’ll acyually go, but I feel like reaching out was a big step.

I’m trying to deadlift, I never really did because it is really injury prone if done wrong. So I made a video for technique , it looks strange but can’t put my finger on it . Anyone advice? Don’t know if the context is necessary but this is set 5 ,80kg . So this is the technique when already fatigued

Good morning folks!!! I’m back with a new story!!! A little back story here. In 2019 (Christmas Day) I slipped and fell out of our truck. I dislocated my right ankle and fractured my distal fib. In January 2020 I had surgery and now have titanium hardware in my lower leg. Six weeks later I had a mild stroke on my left side. Physical therapy was interesting because I had to rebuild strength on both sides at the same time. I have never really recovered my full strength from the stroke. This made steps a challenge. Fast forward to now and with help from Tyler I’m slowly getting strength back. But I was still scared of steps. I would go up or down one step at a time. Meaning, left foot on step followed by right foot on the same step. Never going up or down normally, left foot then right foot on the next step down or up. This was the only way I felt comfortable. I live in one of daughter’s homes, that due to hurricanes, has been raised 23 feet in the air. We loving call it the treehouse (check out my TT page for photos). It does have a “medical lift” at the back of the house, which I always used. It broke about a week ago. So it’s up and down 30+ steps one way everyday. Well, I decided it takes too long doing what I became accustomed to. So, yes holding on to the railing, I decided to try the “normal” way. Lo and behold, it’s been a grand success (yes, I’m knocking wood)!!! I’m also carrying more weighted things in my left hand (groceries, trash, etc) and using them as I walk up or down like weights. I say all this to let y’all know, that if you do the things that Tyler suggests, you too will be climbing that ladder. Get out of your comfort zone to get the results you really want (within Tyler’s guidelines). Can I run those stairs? No. Do I want to? No. But I’ll be happy to go up those stairs with anyone now. Hugs and love

When it comes to your sleep health, here are some things to keep in mind and to give a try: 1. Sleep in a cool room (below 67 degrees if possible - great for your quality of sleep) 2. Limit light from coming into the room - I have 2 blackout curtains and make sure no light can get into my windows. 3. Get off your phone/TV at least 30 minutes to an hour before bed - blue light will keep your mind stimulated, even if it’s only just a bit. 4. Journaling before bed is an excellent way to get stuff out of your head and onto paper — write it out so it’s not just stuck in your head with nowhere to go. 5. A fan or sound machine can go a long way with keeping your mind at ease. 6. Alcohol before bed greatly impacts your sleep, and no, not in a positive way - try to limit alcohol intake at least 3 hours before bed. 7. No more work 2 hours before bed. Stop it. You’re done for the day (he says to himself when he should be sleeping). Anything you all would add to this list?? It’s not complete but it at least gets the ball rolling!