Letting go of smallness… 🫳✨

5d (edited) • WINS

One of the things I love about this Harmony Hub space is the ongoing, quiet invitation it offers to explore and share personal truths. 💖✍️ In exactly that soft, delicately nurturing way over these past months since joining this community - something massive and deeply necessary has shifted increasingly into my conscious awareness. I’d like to share it here…

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BEGINNINGS

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I’ve been drawn toward and fascinated by all things mystical, metaphysical and psychospiritual my whole life. But my upbringing (small town rural), education (in the sciences) and early career directions (largely business communications and project management) only permitted those areas of enquiry as “quirky interests or hobbies” at best - and were to be talked about with degrees of skepticism, if most social situations were to stay “safe” and not raise eyebrows. 🤔

But unsurprisingly that outlook became increasingly untenable - and indeed exhausting - as the years progressed. I knew that downplaying and/or outright abandoning my true passions would be a betrayal of this life’s incredible gifts… But I didn’t know where or how to begin living more “authentically” in genuine attunement with what has always vitalised me. 🌟

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CHANGES

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Eventually I began taking baby steps into more aligned career directions (I’m now a teacher / facilitator in the adult education space), and tentatively became more open about my “alternative” interests and activities. I also began openly sharing more of my creative work - especially my sketches, drawings, poetry and other writing.

And then during COVID lockdowns I took a massive dive into developing my voice, musicianship, songwriting and production skills. I’ve since released a number of experimental electronic pieces - some instrumental, some with lyrics, and a very special one at the end of my album last year that I reckon is Light Language of some persuasion. The artwork for these releases is largely based on my own portfolio of drawings from across the years, and most of my music / lyric videos are too. It’s been a ride! 🤟💫

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ACKNOWLEDGING

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Despite all this though, something in my heart has felt I’ve still been missing something important. Like I still hadn’t embraced this lifetime’s purpose fully… But I know that I need to keep pulling back those layers of perceived smallness, inadequacy, and “I’m not good / smart / talented enough” litany. The hiding needs to stop, to unravel and to bare amidst the light what my passions truly are. So here for the first time anywhere, I offer a catalogue of my joys / skills / experiences into this beautifully “woo woo” space… Just for some of it to be acknowledged, recorded and held for my own peace of spirit - somewhere in this world we share, because it’s who I am. Across the years of my life thus far, I have:

Published two peer-reviewed academic papers in the field of psychology, the first being a gesture of love to my fascination with mindbodyspirit modalities - “Mind, Body and Wellbeing: Reinforcement Sensitivity Theory and Self-cultivation Systems as Wellbeing Influencers” (published 2020 in The Journal of Happiness Studies per https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-019-00216-5)

Independent study into numerous spiritual traditions including various Buddhist denominations; Taoism and other eastern philosophies; Qabbalah / Kabbalah; Wicca and paganism; Hermeticism and Theosophy; Tarot, astrology and numerology; “alternative” sciences and techniques, particularly around bioenergetics (e.g. Reiki) and mind-body-spirit integration frameworks

Enthusiastic practice of various yoga, meditation, modern movement and breathwork approaches - as well as a number of martial arts system traditions

Active membership in diverse esoteric groups, at different times and locations across the years including: A wiccan coven, a Tibetan Buddhist meditation group, the international Theosophical Society, a Hermetic order (along with my darling hubby), Reiki certification, various martial arts schools

Experience in both designing and leading ritual practices, meditations and other esoteric programming for a wide range of groups / gatherings / events / personal uses

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RESOLVE

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Until now, even in “alternative” crowds and conversations, I’ve tended to severely downplay my levels of familiarity in esoteric and psychospritual philosophies / practices… Keeping myself carefully small so I don’t make people uncomfortable. However, there are important differences between maintaining a beginners mind and belittling one’s value. The former implies remaining open to new learning, whereas the latter is a gross misrepresentation of oneself.

I am resolved to stop hiding who I am, who I’ve been - and what always has and will bring me joy. I AM this work, in every possible way. It is both pointless and counterproductive to hide... And to continue pretending to be small would be a tragic waste of this incarnation‘s gifts. 💗🌌

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TA MUCHLY <3

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Thank you so much

@Tracy Bee

+ all for holding this magical, mystical space where such contemplations can simply be shared. 🥰

In love and gratitude always,

Gen xoxo

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