a-ha Take on We · Nova Nidra Community

a-ha Take on We

I've become aware of a particular linguistic habit. The use of the generalized 'us'. Not the literal 'us' in a specific room or group, but the broader 'we' that permeates much of public discourse. Here's what I'm frequently hearing:

"Why do we think this?"

"Why do we struggle with that?"

"How do we feel about..."

"We easily forget..."

I didn't fully grasp how deeply this pattern affects me until a youtube short came my way, titled 'The animal everyone hates.'

The video asks:

"Why don't we see pigeons as beautiful?"

The very premise of that question felt immediately alienating. My visceral reaction was:

"But I do. So do thousands of others."

This wasn't just mental disagreement —

it was a deeply unsettling feeling, an unconscious activation in my nervous system, a subtle 'fight or flight' response telling me I wasn't part of the perceived collective.

It's a small example, but it got me thinking how it highlights a much larger, insidious pattern in how we communicate.

When someone uses 'we' to represent an opinion or experience they assume is universal, and my own reality contradicts that 'we,' it feels slightly dismissive — a subtle erasure. As if my perspective, my way of seeing the world, isn't part of the accepted collective narrative. When this happens repeatedly, it leads to a profound sense of isolation.

I unconsciously felt this accumulating over time. Before I knew it, I didn't even bother sharing my views.

I became silent.

When unconsciously assuming a collective 'we' that doesn't exist for everyone, genuine understanding is prevented.

When assuming 'we' all think one way, why explore diverse viewpoints?

Even more concerning, the 'we' that alienates unwittingly fosters an implicit in-group / out-group, diminishing individuality. Isn't that the last thing needed in society right now?

So instead of asking:

"Why don't we see pigeons as beautiful?"

a more inclusive question could be:

"Why do some people not see pigeons as beautiful?"

Or for truly understanding each other:

"What contributes to certain negative perceptions of pigeons?"

I am choosing to be more precise and mindful of the language I choose to use.

I invite you to consider the impact of moving away from presumptive generalizations like 'we' and 'everyone.'

This seemingly small linguistic choice, I believe, creates a non confrontational bridge towards understanding each other.

It can foster more open and empathetic conversations by acknowledging the diverse 'I's and 'they's that genuinely make up our world, rather than initial divide.

Have you ever felt alienated by the generalized 'we'? I would love to hear about it.

And if this isn't your experience —

I would love to hear about that too.

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