THIS one helped me so much to have much more constructive conversations! Ever found yourself launching into fix-it mode when your spouse has talked to you about something - because the solution seems so obvious? Or perhaps you've AVOIDED even starting a conversation because your spouse has done that so many times, when it hasn't been what you were needing - that you just keep it to yourself? Tip #2 helps you BOTH. Instead of launching into a conversation, pre-frame it at the beginning by defining exactly what you are needing. "I want to talk something through with you. What I need is for you to just listen, because I want to process this out loud. This would really help me." Or try this: "I want to talk something through with you, and I want to hear your thoughts on a possible solution..." Whether you just need him to listen, or you need him to come up with solutions to something - naming what you need at the very beginning takes the pressure of him and gives him a clear, achievable role.

One of the reasons why I created this space was to grow the community I wish I had around me when my husband's mental health spiralled, leading to a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I also LOVE developing practical resources to use that have come from my own story, and 'aha' moments I discover as I continue to learn. It's a deep desire I have to help lighten the load being carried, in some small way. So if you haven't had the chance yet, head over to the Classroom to find those resources. I've got more coming! For now, in this video I share a bit more of my story and the "aha" moments I had along the way. Let me know in the comments what resonated, or, share a pivotal moment that you experienced that helped you. 👇

You keep trying to reach him. He keeps pulling back. And the more you reach, the further he keeps pulling back. This goes BOTH ways too! You keep trying to reach her. She keeps pulling back.... If this resonates with you then stay tuned, because this week I'm bringing you FOUR practical shifts you can implement. Here's what I've learned — both in my own marriage through some of the hardest years of our lives, and through coaching spouses navigating the same wall of silence: Avoidance in a husband (or wife) is RARELY about you. It usually means they are processing something he doesn't yet have words for. The cave, as John Gray describes it, is a biological need — not a rejection. So instead of trying to break through the wall, try this practical shift. PRACTICAL SHIFT 1/4: "Check in before you crash in." Ever been totally engrossed in a movie, and someone starts talking to you in the middle of it? I sure don't likes it when that happens. Stick with me on this. Ask "is now a good time to talk?" before diving in. It sounds too simple to matter — but it completely changes the dynamic. You're no longer gate-crashing the mental movie he's got going on in that moment. You're asking for permission to be let in. That small act signals safety. Oh - and if he says "no, not really" - try this follow up question: "No worries. How about [insert time] [this afternooon/evening - whatever applies]." Just give an option and one will be selected. 😀 Let me know in the comments if this tip helped! If it for whatever reason it doesn't land with you - I've got three more coming this week. This is about building up your toolbox and experimenting to find what works.

Let's welcome our newest members to the group! @Leah Wells 🙋‍♀️ @Dee Mary 🥳 @Helen Ling 😁 @Priscilla Lowe 🤩 @Stuart Alcock 🤗 Great to have you here. If you haven't already done so yet, explore the classroom to find the current resources available. Find a post that resonates, pop in a comment to share your thoughts/views. Or jump into the pinned post [START HERE] Welcome to the group! and pop a response there in the poll.

I want to welcome and honour our newest community members. @Mb Bee 💐 @Joleen Norstrud ✨ @Renee Lynn 🥳 @Karie Hudgins 😀 @Oma Ekekwe 🎉 @Charrel Spoon 🙌 @Leah Davis 🌟 @Becky Holbach Each one of us in this community are at various stages in our lives, our faith, and for some - in our marriage. ALL of us have experienced our share of trials along the way. Perhaps you are going through a trial right now. I want each of you to know that this place, this community, is here for you. By being here, you've put your hand up to say "I'm ready to take the next step..." Bless you! Praying for each one of you. If you haven't already done so yet, explore the classroom to find the current resources available. Find a post that resonates, pop in a comment to share your thoughts/views. Welcome.