You keep trying to reach him. He keeps pulling back. And the more you reach, the further he keeps pulling back. This goes BOTH ways too! You keep trying to reach her. She keeps pulling back.... If this resonates with you then stay tuned, because this week I'm bringing you FOUR practical shifts you can implement. Here's what I've learned — both in my own marriage through some of the hardest years of our lives, and through coaching spouses navigating the same wall of silence: Avoidance in a husband (or wife) is RARELY about you. It usually means they are processing something he doesn't yet have words for. The cave, as John Gray describes it, is a biological need — not a rejection. So instead of trying to break through the wall, try this practical shift. PRACTICAL SHIFT 1/4: "Check in before you crash in." Ever been totally engrossed in a movie, and someone starts talking to you in the middle of it? I sure don't likes it when that happens. Stick with me on this. Ask "is now a good time to talk?" before diving in. It sounds too simple to matter — but it completely changes the dynamic. You're no longer gate-crashing the mental movie he's got going on in that moment. You're asking for permission to be let in. That small act signals safety. Oh - and if he says "no, not really" - try this follow up question: "No worries. How about [insert time] [this afternooon/evening - whatever applies]." Just give an option and one will be selected. 😀 Let me know in the comments if this tip helped! If it for whatever reason it doesn't land with you - I've got three more coming this week. This is about building up your toolbox and experimenting to find what works.

One of the reasons why I created this space was to grow the community I wish I had around me when my husband's mental health spiralled, leading to a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I also LOVE developing practical resources to use that have come from my own story, and 'aha' moments I discover as I continue to learn. It's a deep desire I have to help lighten the load being carried, in some small way. So if you haven't had the chance yet, head over to the Classroom to find those resources. I've got more coming! For now, in this video I share a bit more of my story and the "aha" moments I had along the way. Let me know in the comments what resonated, or, share a pivotal moment that you experienced that helped you. 👇

Let's welcome our newest members to the group! @Leah Wells 🙋‍♀️ @Dee Mary 🥳 @Helen Ling 😁 @Priscilla Lowe 🤩 @Stuart Alcock 🤗 Great to have you here. If you haven't already done so yet, explore the classroom to find the current resources available. Find a post that resonates, pop in a comment to share your thoughts/views. Or jump into the pinned post [START HERE] Welcome to the group! and pop a response there in the poll.

Inside "The Bible in One Year" reading for Sunday the 21st of June 2026 - the first passage to read from the Old Testament came from the first two chapters of Job. To be honest with you - for a moment I flinched a little knowing that over the coming days I'd be going through this particular book. Not the easiest one to read through. But I had a flash-of-a-thought race across my mind, to look for the gold in the story. That's EXACTLY what happened. I found gold right away in the words, and I thought of you. The message that stood out to me was the value God places on maintaining our integrity DESPITE the circumstances that have happened, or are happening around us. Grieving for what was lost. Grieving for what no longer existed. Grieving for what seemingly would never be as it once was. I remember going through that when my husband became just a shell of himself. I felt guilty for grieving. "I shouldn't be grieving - he's not dead!" And yet - grief was there. Perhaps you've been wrestling with feeling grief, but at the same time confused too. Let the grief move through you rather than push it down. Then - just as Job did - worship God in the face of it. That is one way that Job maintained his integrity. He refused to blame God for all that had happened. The second thing Job did to maintain his integrity can be found in Chapter 2:10. "Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" Job's response to everything wasn't denial or numbness. He grieves fully. This isn't a man with no feelings. It's a man whose identity was never built on his circumstances in the first place. If your marriage is in a season where nothing is resolving the way you prayed it would; or If your marriage ended - without the things you prayed for being resolved; know that your integrity isn't to be measured by whether he/she changes (or changed). It's measured by whether you stay true to you. Becoming unshakeable doesn't mean nothing shakes you. It means you know exactly who you are and WHOSE you are when it does. I had to learn that the hard way in the middle of the shaking.

...conscious that each of us in this community are navigating all KINDS of challenges. Here it is: "Trust only in God every moment! Tell him all your troubles and pour your heart-longings to him. Believe me when I tell you - he will help you!" The Passion Translation: Psalm 62:8