Frustration with x · ADHD Harmony™

Frustration with x

Yesterday wasn't a very good day for me! I was very overwhelmed and very stressed out ,and my ex seems to just berate me and belittle me and still thinks that my ADHD is an excuse that I'm able to control everything .. and can do things like everyone else and I literally said to him you're expecting me to do something that comes from a neurotypical when I'm neurodivergent! He just doesn't get it it's exhausting! I am tired I'm trying to defend myself all the time or trying to express who I am! He's had you know links provided to him and books bought for him and things sent to him to help him understand and he doesn't care to read them or understand them or anything he keeps telling me it's excuses ! He just doesn't get it. He's even called me a liar because of it.... Over and over and over again! He Says that I intentionally ignore him that I am intentionally doing things and I'm like no you don't understand I get hyper-focused when there's a sense of urgency! so if something's urgent then I know I have to focus all of my attention right there! and I was just in the middle of trying to deal with my dad's estate and he was there helping and we stayed at the house for 2 years trying to get it together! You know every night I had to sweep and mop and clean house for the next morning viewings having to do with paperwork and documents and you know all those things are urgent! He just couldn't understand I was not ignoring him I was doing the things necessary!

Somewhere along the line he experienced something I'm sure abandonment issues of some kind or whatever because man I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it. Anyway yesterday I just had to disconnect from him! " I told him I was putting my phone down and I was walking away because I'm done arguing about it!" this is stupid arguing over and over about the same thing that I can not control. He came back with well you're at you're at your sister's now and you're taking care of her, is that your excuse, I said yeah exactly I'm taking care of her because she fell in broke her shoulder and dislocated her knee and she's a big girl I am 154 lb she has 315 lb and I'm here taking care of her doing the best I can doing it all she's got two kids one of who is partially disabled himself he wasn't here and my niece and her son live here and she, (my niece) had to go to work and originally I was here taking care of my sister my niece and my great nephew because my niece had emergency surgery but had returned to work leaving me to care for her 16 month old son! He was here to see all that so he knows what it takes!* Originally there was three of us taking care of all three of them and then everybody else left, and it was just me taking care of everything; My niece my nephew my sister the dogs the house the shopping the bills everything! The day cnance when finally my body just said that's it and I crashed! I was asleep so I didn't answer my phone until several hours later; and when I did he blew up on me! I explained what happened told him look I was exhausted we were up and down all night trying to get her comfortable, taking her too and from the bathroom etc and on top otef that the baby had gotten my phone and was playing with it and I found it in his toy box after searching for 2 hours. That wasn't good enough It didn't matter that I was tired, it didn't matter that I was exhausted , it didn't matter the baby got my phone,b what mattered to him most is that he was able to get a hold of me when he needed me right then and there... I am tired of being the one that everybody needs all of the time. I am tired of others telling me I who I am or who they want me to be .. I am tired of people who don't get it and most of all TIRED OF DEFENDING MYSELF AND WHO I AM TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T CARE TO LEARN WHEN EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PROVIDED FOR THEM!! I AM WHO I AM!!! PERIOD POINT BLANK DON'T LIKE IT THEN KETEP ON MOVING!!!

0 comments