The mirror principle just clicked. My "financial instability" isn't actually about money - it's mirroring a longing to belong. I can't commit to work where I don't feel met by the people, because being unmet is the deeper risk. The chaos outside is pointing to an internal homelessness I've been carrying for years.
I understand much better why my life has been going this way, and it makes it easier to accept myself with a deep compassion for myself.