After the first reading of the Portrait

There is SO much to integrate. One reading is not going to do it. I love feeling well mirrored -- whether it is stuff I knew, didn't know or just intuited a little. I didn't grow up with much of that. And there is so much to absorb and process. Parts of me are hungry, parts are resistant on the first take. Plus I'm watching myself watching myself. Do you relate?

One of the statements in the Portrait is: "You are a parallel-processing, integrative, embodied mystic who learned to hide because being seen wasn't safe. The hiding worked. It's also exhausted you." It is true. I need to acknowledge myself for all the many ways of NOT hiding and really shining. And I need to unearth and celebrate far more.

The report said my life is not too disparate or broken; it's just alive with so many working parts that are all useful and connected and part of "a Life." An amazing one. I can honor that in myaelf on a level more sure now than ever.

While it reinforced that I am not broken or wrong or behind the times, it emphasized that I need to find or create a setting that is right for me. I admit that now, beyond what I've already done, feels very daunting. It also feels a bit like a euphemism for not able to fit in as others can.

There were a few imoportant things that AI didn't hear, or I didnt say clearly -- and it made presumptions that are just wrong. But all in all it is a rich document to use wisely and joyfully.

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