In Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, generativity vs. stagnation typically shows up in midlife (40-65) but psychologically, it can surface anytime we start asking: "Am I contributing anything that will outlast me? Am I contributing anything beyond myself?" (vs. feeling stuck, directionless, and self-focused) I look at the different developmental stages and I feel like I'm consistenly wrestling with all the stages to some extent (just maybe the more adult version of some of them, ha). I don't see it as a bad thing, I see it as opportunities for growth. Little callings to improve, little opportunities to revisit narratives. Today, we'll just focus on the 7th Stage: 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐯𝐬. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘 This is the desire to create, nurture, mentor, build, or guide something beyond the self. Leaving a positive mark in the world by contributing in ways that matter beyond ourselves. A lot of people think of this as parenting, but it goes beyond that and it can include: mentoring, community involvement, creative work, service, passing on of wisdom, and investing in future generations. Psychologically, generativity is linked to 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞, life satisfaction, internal locus of control, future orietnation, and identity integration. Generativity increases when people feel competent, valued, and connected. 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 Stagnation isn't just about "not having kids" or lacking hobbies...It's a kind of self-absorption that blocks meaningful contribution. Self-centered living that's focused on comfort/status/personal gain and that have boredom/emptiness and a lack of deeper meaning associated with the activities we choose to involve ourselves in. (There are a lot of judgment type terms here but there's a reason why people don't indicate feeling fulfilled even when they've achieved the comfort/status/personal gains. Our current society very much promotes these things but unless those things are tied to something 'greater' than ourselves, it can feel empty or arbitrary). --There are more things to say about what stagnation looks like, but I'd like to focus more on how to increase generativity.

Thought I'd do a few posts about attachment styles because I do think that these play an important part in the health of relationships and I think that it's helpful to recognize where we are/the things that contribute to our interactions with others. :) 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 Attachment theory suggests that early caregiving experiences shape our internal working models and these serve to answer two core questions: 1)Am I worthy of love and care? 2)Are other people reliable and safe? Those answers guide our emotional regulation patterns, fight/flight response, and relationship behaviors. I actually think that attachment styels, while foundationally built when young, can also be impacted later in life with different types of experiences....Someone can be securely attached but if they encounter an unsafe relationship (or a relationship where signals are mixed, where one doesn't really know where they stand with the other person )it can potentially create an environment where someone secure can all of a sudden appear more anxious/insecure because that's the appropriate response to the situation. If they stay in a situation like this long enough, it can contribute to longer term effects that will then potentially lead to a more insecure attachment. (thinking about the impact that trauma has on this as well). 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞 (I maaaaay do a more in depth one for each of these in the future, but here's a brief overview). 1. 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 Core belief: I am worthy. Others are dependable. Yay! Nervous system: More regulated baseline; able to tolerate distress without catastrophizing; more CURIOUS. :) Curiosity is our friend, people. :) Conflict style: Direct communication, repair-oriented., honest/transparent; ability to take risks; Psychological strength: High emotional resilience and integration of autonomy and intimacy. 2. 𝗔𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 (𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗼𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗱) 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 Core belief: I might not be enough. I could be abandoned/rejected. Nervous system: Hyperactivated threat response (heightened sensitivity to rejection cues).

We often look to friends, family, internet, other resources to answer questions and problems and situations. Not that these things are wrong or unnecessary. But we often have inside us the answers to some of the things we search for. I did an exercise of just writing to myself and let my inner pilot light show up. I personally was surprised on one hand and yet my words were not new. I had the answer but it hit differently written out to myself. Have you tried this exercise? If so, how often do you repeat the exercise? Also, any tips for my next time?

Today marks the start of a new week, what if you began it by reconnecting with your source? 🪄 Healing Hood Take a moment to tell yourself what you’ve done well, what you’ve achieved (nothing is too small!) while you're giving yourself a gentle pat on the shoulders (right and left hand on right and left shoulder, respectively). Then move your hands up and over your head (as if you were putting on a hood) and continue gently over your face down to the upper edge of your upper lip. Imagine there’s a spring of wonderful, healing energy above you, giving you exactly what you need and wish for, an unlimited source that continuously nourishes you. Enjoy how it continues to support you even after you finish the exercise and carry on with your day. Simple and yet surprisingly powerful. What is one thing you can acknowledge yourself for today?

I did 2 walk today and some grounding outside in the grass and I just feel like crying and don't understand why it doing this to me. Good some good vitamins D with the sun. I just feel I going more down than up