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13d (edited) • $/Generativity(life's calling)
Midlife Crisis ? Nah, more like...Life Calling!
In Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, generativity vs. stagnation typically shows up in midlife (40-65) but psychologically, it can surface anytime we start asking: "Am I contributing anything that will outlast me? Am I contributing anything beyond myself?" (vs. feeling stuck, directionless, and self-focused) I look at the different developmental stages and I feel like I'm consistenly wrestling with all the stages to some extent (just maybe the more adult version of some of them, ha). I don't see it as a bad thing, I see it as opportunities for growth. Little callings to improve, little opportunities to revisit narratives.
Today, we'll just focus on the 7th Stage: 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐯𝐬. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘
This is the desire to create, nurture, mentor, build, or guide something beyond the self. Leaving a positive mark in the world by contributing in ways that matter beyond ourselves. A lot of people think of this as parenting, but it goes beyond that and it can include: mentoring, community involvement, creative work, service, passing on of wisdom, and investing in future generations.
Psychologically, generativity is linked to 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞, life satisfaction, internal locus of control, future orietnation, and identity integration. Generativity increases when people feel competent, valued, and connected.
𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
Stagnation isn't just about "not having kids" or lacking hobbies...It's a kind of self-absorption that blocks meaningful contribution. Self-centered living that's focused on comfort/status/personal gain and that have boredom/emptiness and a lack of deeper meaning associated with the activities we choose to involve ourselves in. (There are a lot of judgment type terms here but there's a reason why people don't indicate feeling fulfilled even when they've achieved the comfort/status/personal gains. Our current society very much promotes these things but unless those things are tied to something 'greater' than ourselves, it can feel empty or arbitrary). --There are more things to say about what stagnation looks like, but I'd like to focus more on how to increase generativity.
Sometimes stagnation is fueled by burnout, depression (see what the core feeding factors are though!), unresolved earlier development conflicts (like identity), shame around "not being enough" and also external stressors that make it challenging to have the bandwidth to tap into this.
All of this can lead to dissatisfaction and a sense of 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥.
𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘
The healthy outcome of this stage is developing CARE which is the ability to invest in others and the future without expecting immediate reward. Generativity matters because it helps shape our later years, especially as we move towards our final stages in life (which honestly, doesn't always happen when we're old--not to scare anyone, but we can die at any moment...) Those who build a sense of generativity are more likely to approach later life with a sense that their life mattered.
𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘
A lot of people relate generativity with 'doing more', but it's really not about that. It's more about alignment. Some things to consider:
- Do some 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤: identify your values, work on connections, explore who you are/who you want to be. It's hard to know what you want to contribute if we don't know who we are.
- Work on your 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 beliefs: knowing that your actions actually matter increases internal motivation to contribute. Small acts can build a momentum.
- M𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠: think about how your story and what you're doing connects to something bigger than you.
4. 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 matter: Generativity is relational at the core. Isolation actually fuels stagnation and stagnation fuels a sense of hopelessness/helplessness/depression.
5. Future orientation: Asking ourselves “Who benefits from what I’m doing today?” If the answer is only “me,” stagnation may creep in. We live in a culture that's really focused on individualism and on the self, but the reality is that we live amongst individuals and connections really do matter.
6. 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 : Are you feeling depleted? Think about the factors at play contributing to this and start eliminating energy leaks. We are wired to self preserve/self protect and this will often win out over contribution.
QUESTION TO CONSIDER: When you think about generativity, what comes to mind for you? :)
POLL:
Right now, I feel like I’m.....
-attached: a scale to see where you land :)
(article for additional reading if you want:Generativity vs Stagnation: Stage 7, Care Virtue & Examples)
Building something that benefits others--I feel purposeful and invested beyond myself.
In transition--Some areas feel meaningful; others feel stuck.
Protecting my energy / focused on survival--Contribution feels secondary right now.
Stagnant or disconnected--I’m not sure what I’m contributing (or if it matters).
Burned out but still trying to show up---I want to contribute, but I’m running on fumes.
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Midlife Crisis ? Nah, more like...Life Calling!
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