Hi all. Today I'm sharing my heart first time in my life to anyone. I feel lost all the time, time just passes and I just unknowingly waste it just thinking about the irrelevant stuff that is not even align with me. Currently I do have a normal IT job that doesn't pay me much though. My focus is constantly being taken away by some meaningless things in my life and I get stuck there almost everytime. I'm not getting enough sleep as my mind just wander here and there at night. Daily I'm just getting sleep of around 3 hours and that's all. Furthermore, I'm not able to find any strong purpose of living this life and feel like ending my old life now and start a new life. But I don't even know what should be there in that new life. I know that i want optimum health for me, my family, money and all but I'm not able to even imagine anything. I want to live in the present moment completely but my mind just won't let me do that. I need guidance and support.

I’m afraid of relationships because the way I perceive love feels much deeper than what I usually see in the real world. For me, love is not an experiment, not a game, not something you ‘try out’. I see it as a conscious, lifelong choice — a complete union of two inner universes, where you give yourself fully, without masks or calculations. My question is: is it healthy and realistic to live with such a perception of love in this world, or is this an idealized, unrealistic view that inevitably leads to disappointment? Should one protect this depth, or learn to adapt to how relationships actually function in reality