I had a nightmare/dream just now. At first it was terrifying, and I felt just as in control of my being as I am now. I was at my parents house and everyone was asleep, as they currently are now. But something drew me to go outside. It was dark of course, but after moments of being out there something didn't feel right. Then I started hearing heavy breathing. It wouldn't stop, and I couldn't figure out what it was. So I went back inside. I woke my parents up, told them. But the only one who spoke was my father. He told me to have "devotion". I didn't understand entirely, but I accepted that and went back outside with my dog. We heard it again, but it was louder and it felt it was, in a way, making me breathe frantically and heavily as well. Then I spotted "it". I seen what was the smile of a demented being staring deep in my soul. I, for some reason, wanted to try to intimidate it by walking towards it in anger. It didn't work, it only fed it and it started to make its way towards me. I noticed there was a little boy beside her, but it wasn't like her. So I paused, and began praying to God and telling this demon I loved it so much. But words wouldn't come out. I could feel how hard I was trying to speak but nothing of words came about. But regardless my intentions were so strong, I began to see it weaken and cry. The sun started to come out, like a beautiful pink sky morning. After I continued, my words became clear and it began eating its own fingers and hand. Then it disappeared. I then woke up in a cold sweat. I began asking my self who this was, and the only name that popped into my head was ZoZo. I have read about this demon back when I was younger, probably 13 or 14. And in this moment now, I can say I still love it aside from its attempt to torment me. This wasnt the only dream that I've heard heavy breathing, its been happening for a little while now but I never could figure it out in the past dreams. Being honest, I couldn't have been more appreciative of this dream. I felt I've faced it, even though part of me in the dream wanted to run in a way. Let me know what you think, much love 💜

Hello, I don't have a therapist so I'm just dumping what's going on in my life/mind here hope no one minds I'm feeling super constricted because I'm in school again. For some background to those who will actually read this I'm 18 and dropped out of school last year cause it felt insanely draining and I felt like I wasn't supposed to be there. every day was hard af. Now don't be coming at me saying I'm an education hater I'm not. entirely. a little maybe. But just because of the way the system is built. Has always felt unnatural to me and I would always rebel against teachers and kinda everyone. So I dropped out, my parents were horrified and I worked abroad in summer. Then I decided I wanted to come back and try getting my degree again. Don't know why it felt right at the moment and after having done something super uncomfortable I craved something familiar again and I missed my family and like every kid wanted to make em proud. So long story short I got back in school only to find myself in the same situation again. Now I've learned many lessons so I don't regret anything but now I find myself wanting to leave again. Biggest struggle that is just in my head, I know and is most certainly not that deep, is obviously disappointing my parents again and kinda being negative in my bank account. And doubt obviously that little weasel Well looking from the perspective of abundance there is always a way and enough just my rational mind kicking in haha nice. I just wanna live and experience shit and see this insanely beautiful world and do what I love and I don't need a degree for that. But just not knowing how to leave and telling my parents AGAIN is creating a tornado in my mind. Someone have thought? And if you made it til here damn , I actually just wanted to write it all out not even sure this is beneficial cause I know that intuitively I'll always know what to do and what is meant for me will happen anyway so getting confused with people's advice and opinions that are based on everyone's own beliefs and experiences is maybe not the bestest thing but if you got something you think would help or support, I'm very happy to hear it, bring it on thank you