depression has come back univited!! 😔 · Human Intelligence by Soma+IQ

depression has come back univited!! 😔

over the past week or so anxiety, depression and overthinking decided to pay me a visit after being on a loooong vacay for the past few months! 🙄

now, whilst i DESPISE that they've reared their ugly heads, i know that it is for a reason and is happening FOR me and not TO me!

i am mentally and physically EXHAUSTED and have felt like staying in bed all day every day but i am NOT going back there, not ever!!

i witnessed an awful tragedy over 5wks ago and whilst i kinda processed a little of it, i seemed to have done what i always do and that is to sweep it under the rug and forget about it!

a few tears definitely haven't *processed* it, not by a long shot! so, it's decided to show up by force and demand that i acknowledge it and let it pass through me!

it's teaching me things about myself that i'd either forgotten about, pushed to the back of my mind, neglected or just resisted time and time again aaaand

whatever we resist, persists!

so me resisting this unexpected trauma has only gone and made it persist at an even greater scale, that is the darkness! 😒

i've had several realisations about myself this past week and i'm beginning to let go of unhealthy limiting beliefs that have been with me all of my life

there's no light without darkness and in order for steffi sunshine to remain in her light, she needs a few steffi stormclouds every so often to clear the way! 🌦

i hate it but i now have the tools to be aware of it and not let it sink even deeper into my skin! breathwork and meditation have been a HUGE help in keeping my *labels* on an extended vacay! 🙏🏻

anyways, just thought i'd share this to let others see that it's okay to not be okay and that things come back to test you and to shed themselves in order for bigger and better things to enter your life once you are living as your true authentic self 🤗

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