So , I've never been much of a " friend " from middle school until now Was always bullied for being " too religious " in my clothing style etc I was being abused too by classmates and so called friends that I trusted . In high school , I didn't make friends at all I thought my close classmates were my friends when they weren't really , it was one sided . Now that I am in college , I'm entering my 3rd year of vet School , I made friendships in my first and second year But none of them seemed to last , because I was so into them , and they weren't intentional about the friendship One guy was forcing to be with him , and I got attached ( still friends ) and the end of the day I've let him go . And in the second year of vet school I had a friend group from the first year , we were like 11 members I isolated myself because 2 of them were " giving off vibes " towards me only , which felt very odd to me . And then when the two girls left that group , I started to socialize again with this group . And I was very " back up " friend , the friend that they never invite or make plans with , they only show me the pictures when we're at school One time they ordered food and I was broke that day around , nobody cared enough to share their meal or anything else. They never included me in conversations , like I'd stand there listening and zoning out all the time . See the type of conversations that they all know about except you , they start talking and you feel like and outsider ? That's was it . And one time I told this girl of this group please can you add me to the group chat ? She said oh well they are people who don't know you in there , they won't feel comfortable in your presence . So basically she didn't want to because they have " private conversations " happening in there . I've cut the whole group off , the next day she came to ask me if I was mad , I said yeah and it was very disrespectful She said alright bye and went crying to the group of friends and sent me two of her friends to blame me and why I made her cry and she was gentle with me sending hearts etc .

I'll be back to university tomorrow , I'm feeling kind of nervous . I know that it'll be okay , but I stress about the fact that I will have to study , film videos , make music all at once Plus I didn't figure out how to talk to people and make friends Any advices ???

Recently I listened to recordings of myself and adjusted to what I sound like. I was extremely self conscious about it since I was a child. I’ve always wanted to express myself but haven’t due to the fear of putting myself out there. Anyway, here I am now. I’m curious about y’all answers.