So me and this girl were friends for like maybe 5 months , and I was okay with her behavior and everything nothing too aggressive even though one time she judged my beliefs but I've let that slide . Then until last week , I was sitting with her in the school yard I'd say , and a classmate of ours was with us we were talking , and the girl completely changed a behavior in front of him which I've noticed before but I never knew it was the pick me behavior . I thought she was like that . Anyways , she was wearing a jacket , she took it off then she wore it again and she stood up then she sit right again . She literally disturbed me but I didn't say anything cuz it didn't trigger me that much , then in a moment she made really uncomfortable when I said hold on I wanna find an empty classroom so I can record some covers for Instagram , I went to search and she turned around telling him oh look she has the walk of Michael Jackson , she's literally jealous of my model-like walk I suppose . Then I returned and I said , there's no empty classrooms , she said oh here's the restroom go and record there .... That was nasty , but yeah . Then I said no I won't and the guy said you want spirits to possess her or what ? I said I don't believe in spirits she said oh I can smell a Jewish person here .... How can you say that ?? And she followed by : oh don't tell me that I'm dealing with atheists right now , wait do you believe in God ? I said yes for the sake of ending her conversation because she's way too religious and that's not my thing . She labeled me atheist just because I said I don't believe in spirits not God lol. Afterwards , she started to give me weird stares , then she was speaking in English and she messed up a sentence so I hurried up to correct her which I normally do and she doesn't take it to heart , she literally said oh stfu stared at me and continued what she was saying to that guy . I literally didn't talk much to her that afternoon and then I messaged her on telegram saying girl you violated a boundary of mine saying that she said I was joking can't you get it !!? I can't believe that you thought of me like that .

On my way to start the year 2026 sober ! From an addiction of mine that started when I was 16 .

Basically theres this girl that I developed a bit of a crush on without knowing who she was. So to prioritize my peace I kicked her out of my mind cause I needed to focus on myself. Recently I’ve been seeing her a bit more and I want to try and spark something, anything. Ive been trying to get more comfortable with small talk so ive been talking to more people, ive been observing things and commenting on them. But I just freeze or do my own thing when its her, either she has nothing to comment on or I am afraid of just trying, I feel like im overthinking things. I tell my mind that i dont want to make it obvious i want to know her but isnt that exactly what I want? I want to try something, some people ive asked have said to just shoot the shot cause Ive got nothing to lose, others have said to not force anything, and others have said to kinds force something but dont make anything obvious. At this point its more about me than a connection, but hey a connection would be nice.

A while ago I sent a message where I was looking for advice on getting to know someone new, and I recieved plenty of helpful and caring messages that I am very thankful for (happy thanksgiving!). You guys were right, she is just a normal person, and luckily quite easy to talk to. I was completely overthinking it. Just an update to say that i plan on asking for her number soon, and that isnt something I can overthink, so im confident in my ability to shoot my shot. Im not really thinking about what i think shes thinking cause mind reading is a negative thought process, all I know is that i want to get to know her and i might as well try. Just wanted to say thank you cause i wouldnt be in the situation of trying to shoot a shot if it wasnt for you guys.

Just writing to clear my head. Its been a rough patch, ive been happy, but my self control has been down the drain. Skipping workouts, not meditating, eating not the best, doomscrolling, everything. However im not gonna let it consume me, so im gonna pull myself back up. I deleted youtube, so I now have 0 social media at all, I watch the helpful content like shimon and others’ on a browser on my computer. Im talking to more people, just observing things im finding interesting and talking about it. Im changing up my workout routine to the night because the morning wasnt working. Im trying to work towards my goals and passion projects, and though its been a weird change of pace, its starting to work, now I just have to keep at it.