Yes, after a hard fall semester, I am now officially on winter break. The goals for this break are to recover from all the mental trauma I have been through and turn my life around to live a life of purpose and profound hope. There is no better day to start than today. For these next few weeks, I am going to dedicate my time to addiction recovery, self-work to discover my true purpose and identity, becoming the confident man I can be, and of course, living to serve God well and His children that He has placed for me. I have done some good work thus far to recreate that bond with the Lord and to grow closer to Him again. Now, I shall deny myself and surrender to Him by giving up the things that I regularly do for myself and replace those things with doing a good deed for other people and doing great service for Jesus Christ. With that, I am surrendering to His will and allowing God to guide me towards addiction recovery and acts of living out the purpose and hopeful life He has for me, and I will do what He asks of me to get there. The big thing is that I have a bright future, and God has everything set for my bright future. Therefore, I shall surrender to the Lord and be with Him to have that firm belief that He has a bright future for me and that it is far better than anything I have ever imagined. Of course, the biggest thing I must work on is running to God when I am tempted to give into lust or any other unhealthy coping mechanism. I shall do this by stopping anything I am doing and find a place to be with Jesus and ask Him to deliver me from the temptation. The more I do this, the more I will strengthen my spirit and I will have more control to resist the temptations that come my way, as God will give me all the support I need to make this all possible. Along with that, I will be able to fulfill my time to grow closer to God and to live out the purposeful life He has for me. In addition, I will use this time to really grow closer with my brothers in Christ, improving my relationships with you all as a group, and with you personally as well, as this will help me to become a greater part of the community and I can relate with you all on many levels.

Ever since I got back from Thanksgiving break, I have been unable to hold my guard up, and that’s why I have been falling. It seems that every time I come back to my apartment and being all alone again, I always am most vulnerable to temptation and I am most likely to give in every time, and I am very weak. I know that the enemy is trying to keep me down here, but I will not let him and I shall rise. Therefore, your prayers would be appreciated at this time for me to find my direction again and that I find Jesus again. Thank you🙏🏻

So today, I may have given in to lust, but moving forward, I shall work on myself and build up spiritual endurance to overcome lust, temptations, and all other addictions and mental trauma. Over time, I will seek peace at this time and I will slowly but surely work on becoming the version of myself that has meaningful identity and lives a life of purpose. That’s why along with the recovery, I shall prepare for a better self. I would appreciate your prayers in doing so and it is on from here. God Bless you all and have a Blessed weekend🕊️🙏🏻💗✝️

Yes, I am finished with exams and the fall semester. Reflecting on this time, it was one of the most painful times for mentally as I had a hard time with discipline and I gave into addictions a lot. And I believe it reflected how I finished as well. My horrible time management led me unprepared for what was coming, and I have been distraught and down bad. For finals, I finished the best I could, but my efforts were not fully there due to my horrible time management habits. Afterwards, I went and gave into lust and did other nasty kinks/habits and that’s how I went about with celebrating the end of the semester. It was an irresponsible and immature thing to do and I am embarrassed of my own actions last night. The main thing is that now I can let it all go, because the semester is done and now I can go home for the holidays, be at peace, and work on improving on a mental, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual basis, as I am in dire need of healing in all these areas. Mainly, I can run back to God and allow Him to welcome me into His loving presence and I can focus on renewing my relationship with the Lord. And with the holidays here, I can be at peace knowing that I will find a way out of the hole one day. That’s what I have for you now and more will come along the way. Your prayers are much appreciated at this time for me. I wish everyone a wonderful holiday break and I will talk to y’all soon. God Bless🕊️🙏🏻💗✝️

Yesterday was one of my worst days thus far as I had isolated myself and had played around with lust, video games, and various videos in attempt to fill the void, and I was down bad all the way. However, I am putting that all behind me, because now, I have the light and momentum to carry on and finish the job this semester to ace my exams and do everything I can to pass all my classes. This power has been given to me by Jesus Christ and it could not have been given to me at a better time. Especially after a bad day yesterday, I had asked the Lord to heal me and to give me peace. Not only did He give me peace and healed me in the process, but I gained that light in my soul to take action today. This is living proof that Jesus Christ truly loves me and cares for me, and that He wants the absolute best for me all the time, and I am truly thankful for His goodness and I love Him so much for it all. I gained the power to wake up early, prepare myself to take on the day, and to glorify God and to do great things for the Lord. Even with dealing with illness and all the mental trauma I’ve been through, I am determined to make today count and to make Jesus proud. This is the power that comes from the Holy Spirit Himself. The main thing I needed to do was to surrender to His will and Jesus will guide me every step of the way. This is how I gain that discipline and motivation out of the blue. Therefore, I shall get to work with studies, ace my exams and final projects/assignments, and finish with the best grades possible. Once I get these done, I will spend my break being at peace with the Lord and to do some self-improvement work to implement healthy habits one by one. Plus, I will work on improving my mental health as well. It all starts here and now, so let’s get down to business! God Bless you all and have a Blessed Sunday🕊️🙏🏻💗✝️