Another something · Nova Nidra Community

Another something

hello - you might not know me - please be kind - writing this is hugely painful - literally - my hand barely work because they dont want this written and the pain is indescribable - i have complex ptsd - from a lifetime Of abuse that now i just seem to invite - i laugh about it but every day is s painful i am basically hoping to die - this community has been life changing, i met amazing people and have absolutely loved sharing stuff - and (not but) I have learned something - those of us who grow out abuse and trauma are not like you - we do not have your references and kindnesses - the ground of trauma is horrible - i hope you dont have it - it changes everything - it is why we can never be friends - because we are always weird - because someone took away our chance to grow and be happy - and we will always be stuck - wanting to be loved and knowing we cannot - I know this id not my usual stuff - I always want to raise smile - who doesn’t want a larf - but please, know that the pain it grows out of is deep, searing and endless

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