seeking advice for a proposal · Muslim Marriage Accelerator

seeking advice for a proposal

So there is this brother at my work place he approached has me for nikkah. I know him a little from my hospital first rotation.I did one rotation of 3 month in hospital.I my first view of him was not very good.I felt he has loose boundaries with female colleagues as compare to me.

I had minimum interaction with him but I think I made mistake by having a discussion with him in ward day about marriage and all and after that I guess attracted him to me and also that how reserved I live in public.

after my rotation ended I did not have any interaction with him accept once or twice regarding rotations and if i needed some hr department help.

one day he texted me that his parents came from umrah and he has got prayer mat for me as gift from makkah and zam zam and dates.I accepted that gift but later i regretted i should not have.

until then i didn't not know he has some interest in me.

I was always tried to avoid converse with him just once in a while when I needed some help.

Now after almost a year when my internship is ending and his also.He mustered up courage to approach me.

but I feel anxious if his efforts are just fake.

he said he is open to all investigation and even if refuse he is okay with that.

i asked his one classmate how is he to which he replied not thattt good but good boy.

now for me he has some shady characters.

his positive thing is he is serious and not playing with me, he tried to respect my boundaries and tried to be patient for at least 7 months to approach me with dignity.I told him that my parents should investigate him first and he replied i thought I should ask you first otherwise it would have been waste to see your parents.

I feel he is sincere about me but there is something off

i feel some reservations

he sometimes smokes,i asked from his classmates

he does pray 5 daily prayers but he is part of Young doctor association and he used that previlige to get relief from ward while he was getting paid for work monthly

He has loose boundaries with girls compare to me

i afraid that he would use shortcuts in relationship as well if he uses them in work.

i dont know if i should refuse to him simply saying we are not compatible or should i let him see my parents or see him with my sister and tell him why i feel non compatible with him, but i am afraid i am not rejecting him out of fear.

and when he proposed the idea i felt nauseous and i still feel gut sinking when i talk to him . i talked to him once saying i need time and space.

I feel i should reject him but then comes to my mind what if he is actually good and sincere for me and not reject without giving him chance.

even though his cast is different then mine my parents I think gonna reject him base on caste.

i already informed him about cast thing but he said he wanted to ask me still because he didn't want to regret later for not trying because human has what he strives for.And he said i have been praying but then comes thinking i should do something myself also.

looking forward to all sisters for advice.

@Mindful Muslimah

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seeking advice for a proposal