Wsalam sister Iman, This fb group sounds like a wonderful idea! I'm glad you have this option 🙏🏻 Alhamdulilah. To answer your question, I believe that you should indeed have a conversation with your father. Talk to him with rationality and prepare your arguments well. You know your father best and know how to talk to him better than us, but if you speak to him in a rational and logic way, I don't believe that he will refuse you. At the end of the day this is your right and in islam, your father should be a help and a protector in this journey not a bloquer. Now, if you tell him and he gives you good reasons not to use this group that's something else, only a good conversation will give you answers. Example of arguments : - There are many ways through which people can find a potential. It's true that through family and friends is an option, but there are many other options too. We cannot stick to our comfort zone, we need to be more open, otherwise we might block our rizq. Any way we go Allah will guide us, so we have nothing to loose trying. - We need to be moving and be adapting to our society now. Currently, we are in the age of technology and it's taking over the world. Also, if we are being realistic, people communicate as much in person as they do online (if not more online) now. It's not like before, in your time dad, where people only had in-person interractions. Time has changed and if I do only in-person interractions, I might be loosing half my chances since people are online half of their time. Also, there is a way to do this islamically and you will be in every step of the process. So, you have nothing to worry about. - Did the in-person, natural way, worked for us so far? If not why don't we give this way a chance? Look at X, Y, Z. They got married using this method. We know them they are good people, they are serious and religious. It worked for them. If it wasn't a good option why would Allah put baraka in it for other people? Right? - We do our part and then we put our trust in Allah. So, let's do our part dad.

@Iman R Alhamdulilah that it helped you 🙏🏻 Inshallah everything will go well 🤲🏻 May Allah bless you in the best way 🫶🏻

Wsalam sister 🥰, What you feel is normal and relatable to all of us. My advices : - Realize that the work you do on yourself is not just for marriage it's for your whole life. My stress transformed into peace with my self-improvement journey when I realized it's a life mission to get better and to improve for the sake of Allah. It's actually fascinating to see yourself improve, learn and realize all these things about yourself and life. Human potential is limitless. Have fun, discover and allow yourself to learn at your pace!! 🤩 - Focus on understanding 📚 rather than trying to perform for the sake of perfoming. Taking the time to understand things will save you time and efforts. Don't rush. - Don't do things just because people tell you to and don't compare yourself to others. Never just take things from people (direct or indirect). People are all doing their best, are on their own journey and no one really has The answer. Get inspired by them, take their insight, but continue your search and look for the facts and sources that are reliable to help you in the right direction 🛤. - Have tawakul (trust in Allah), he will direct or re-direct you in the right way if needed. He is the best of planners 🤲🏻😇. - Look for the source of your fatigue. If you can improve it or fix it, do it. Your body is your vessel for life, take good care of it 💪🏻. Overall, life is a journey. Stressing over anything will never help you. Go at your pace and give yourself some grace. You have the right to be indecisive and not know what you want sometimes, it's normal. Just never stop making time for thinkimg with yourself and/or journal to help you figure it out. Also, let time do it's thing. Try and experience life and enjoy the process 🤗💞. I hope this helps 😊 Take it one step at a time, you can do this 🫂. Let life onfold on you and let Allah surprise you with the beauty of this world ✨.

Salam sister @Ayesha Zafar , To add to what sister @Iman R said, the list of non-negociable is not a 30 points list. Your non-negociables are more precise and things that break or take. Things that you cannot accept and tolerate. So sister MM told us to think about it this way. She told us as well that if you have a list of 30+ things, it would be your preferences list. It's good to have a list of preferences, that list should be organized in subjects and structured to help you to know yourself more and help you navigate different subjects with your potential. That list should be flexible tho since the potential has his preferences too. That's what I understood about the list of preferences. Also, there was a very important point that was talked in the class as well. It's to be specific about what you want and define it. For example. You cannot just say "he has to be religious". You have to define what it is to be religious for you. This statement is different for everyone. Same thing for everything else.

@Habibatul Aulia Thank you sis 🥰 Ameen 🤲

@Maariya A Alhamdulil'Allah I'm glad to hear that sis 😊 For your question, I completely understand what you mean. My answer have multiple visions. First, it's not black and white. The roles of men and women are not set in stone. You take the general idea and you adapt it to your situation. That's how life is, not just for marriage. So, you cannot see it as "he has to do that, not me" and stop there. You have to adapt and see what to do in each situation. Second, men are humans they are not perfect. They have the right to not know how to react or not be able to manage their stress sometimes. It can happen it's normal. With that being said, you don't go overboard the other direction too. Know yourself and your balance. You can be nice and help him out this one time since in that situation you know (and he knows) that he is stressed just like you. ~He will notice and take this as a nice gesture of you, knowing that you could've done nothing to help him. That's you gaining points in his eyes too. That's another perspective~ Now, you know that you two are still strangers and are getting to know each other, so you don't know if it's just sometimes that he reacts like this or it's an issue in him. You've got to explore that overtime, over the meetings. Don't do it a lot, just here and there, IF necessary, since you don't know him yet and like you said you don't want to teach him to rely on you. You have to be smart about it honestly. If you know yourself as too kind in general, then I would say be careful and don't do it unless you see it's a particular situation. You've got to know yourself and adapt to the context each time. Yes, overall it's not something to do a lot. I just like to see men as humans that are not perfect and I allow them some grace. That doesn't mean that you do it a lot. I see it as calculated moves.

@Kulsum M Alhamdulilah, I'm happy that it helped 🥰 Thank you sister ❤️ Ameen 🤲

@Habibatul Aulia Yes indeed ❤️ Thank you sis, ameen 🤲