people say that 'you attract what you fear' it is said that subconsciously we attract wrong people from unhealed trauma. it scares me even more because I feel that i am failing to heal myself and let go of my old self. This gives me anxiety that Allah tests us where our deep desire lies.Our desire can become our greatest test for this life. I afraid may be my deep desire for peaceful marriage becomes my test and get the opposite of that.

I wanted to say how proud I am of all of you for sharing what 💗 you have been carrying for so long. Here are the Questions that I answered in today's live: QUESTION 1: Medical Conditions and Infertility Disclosure QUESTION: How should a Muslimah approach marriage discussions if she has medical conditions that make having biological children difficult, unlikely, or unsafe? When is the best time to mention this to a potential spouse—early on or after getting to know each other better? How do I cope emotionally with rejection and not internalize comments from family or the community? QUESTION 2: 5 Years of Searching and Spiritual Blockage QUESTION: I've tried for 5 years to find a spouse. Everyone fails. Could this be spiritual blockage? Should I start the search after I fix my health and behavior issues? QUESTION 3: Niqab and Showing Your Face QUESTION: As a niqabi, when should I show my face to a potential spouse—early on or after determining he's serious and suitable? QUESTION 4: Distinguishing Genuine Incompatibility From Fear-Based Avoidance QUESTION: How do I know if my doubts stem from genuine incompatibilities or from my own fears rooted in my complicated relationship with my father? I can't be fully myself with this person because I'm afraid of being "too much." Is this a red flag about him or about me? QUESTION 5: Timing and Initiative in the Marriage Search QUESTION: Should I invest time and money in marriage apps like Muzz and actively search, or should I trust God's timing? Are my standards realistic—I want faith, education, intellectual compatibility, character, and physical attraction? QUESTION 6: Early Marriage Search While in School, Family Resistance, and App Strategy QUESTION: I'm in my early twenties doing an online degree and don't go out much. My mom advised against using Muzz because she thinks I should wait until after graduation and employment. But I don't want my years to fly by, and I'm open to marrying while still in school. I tried apps before but had no system for vetting guys and it caused me distress. I'm scared of making the wrong choice. How do I talk to my mom about this? How do I move guys from the app to meeting my parents? How do I talk to my dad? Should I initiate conversations on the app or wait?

Not every connection that felt right was meant to stay. One sister shared, "Every 'almost' was Allah saving me from something I couldn't see." A door closing is not a sign you're unworthy. What is written for you cannot be taken by anyone else. What helped you heal after a connection didn't work out? 🤍

So there is this brother at my work place he approached has me for nikkah. I know him a little from my hospital first rotation.I did one rotation of 3 month in hospital.I my first view of him was not very good.I felt he has loose boundaries with female colleagues as compare to me. I had minimum interaction with him but I think I made mistake by having a discussion with him in ward day about marriage and all and after that I guess attracted him to me and also that how reserved I live in public. after my rotation ended I did not have any interaction with him accept once or twice regarding rotations and if i needed some hr department help. one day he texted me that his parents came from umrah and he has got prayer mat for me as gift from makkah and zam zam and dates.I accepted that gift but later i regretted i should not have. until then i didn't not know he has some interest in me. I was always tried to avoid converse with him just once in a while when I needed some help. Now after almost a year when my internship is ending and his also.He mustered up courage to approach me. but I feel anxious if his efforts are just fake. he said he is open to all investigation and even if refuse he is okay with that. i asked his one classmate how is he to which he replied not thattt good but good boy. now for me he has some shady characters. his positive thing is he is serious and not playing with me, he tried to respect my boundaries and tried to be patient for at least 7 months to approach me with dignity.I told him that my parents should investigate him first and he replied i thought I should ask you first otherwise it would have been waste to see your parents. I feel he is sincere about me but there is something off i feel some reservations like he sometimes smokes,i asked from his classmates he does pray 5 daily prayers but he is part of Young doctor association and he used that previlige to get relief from ward while he was getting paid for work monthly He has loose boundaries with girls compare to me

This question always comes to my mind. how much interaction with opposite gender will not make me sinful. like i work in hospital,i see in offices as colleagues people are joking around,but i feel it is sinful to joke with opposite gender.and i also see they sit in cafe and have lunch together. . and if someone shows sort of interest in you,and then how should i approach that? i know wisdom would say that he should talk to my parents but parents involvement here would mean final decision. . should i have a basic conversation at public cafe or phone and see where things go or should i simply decline the request? as i feel its betrayal to my deen and to what Allah commands? i don't know if i was able to convey my thoughts. . usually i am very reserved and try my best to avoid free mixing and joking around with opposite gender at work and try to keep quiet most of the time. . but still you have to talk sometimes and even get help in things.