Been off the grid for a bit. Anger - that my kids haven’t seen their grandparents. Shame- that I have not more progress in repair with my wife. Guilt- that I was too busy to go fishing with my Dad this week. Sad- for my son & daughter who are so angry with me. Fear-of my growing frustration by the lack of progress. Hurt- that my oldest daughter doesn’t want me to attend her middle school graduation. Lonely- that I’m feeling that I am having carrying too much of the business workload. Joy- spent a wonderful morning with my 12 year old daughter getting our nails done e for her birthday.

Anger - that we continue to have the cyclical fight Shame- that I forgot to fully clean the kitchen tonight Guilt- that I need to sit in the other room while my wife cleans the kitchen as she doesn’t want me in her space. Sad- that my wife feels Like I don’t care about her when I do things like this. Fear - that I keep hitting this cycle Hurt- that my wife thinks of me as a child Lonely- sitting in the other room while she does the job I was supposed to do Joy- the family had a fun day looking at cars.

Anger: I feel angry that I did not get the job I interviewed for Shame: I feel shame for being more senior than other co-workers and being in a lower position Guilt: I feel guilty for not taking on more from my fiancée in the wedding planning process Fear: I fear that my fiancée with eventually be done with me because I keep making similar mistakes Lonely: I feel lonely because I am not feeling emotionally or physically connected with my fiancée. Sad: I feel sad because it feels as though I am trying my best to make her feel heard and it often doesn’t work Hurt: my pride is hurt when my fiancée compares me to her friends that always make her feel heard Joy: I felt joy competing in a Murph workout this morning.

I made this video to both share where we are in our journey of marriage and share something we are really excited about. The exercise I reference is the core emotion wheel, link to that training module in comment.

Use the Emotion Wheel to speak specifically about one issue that exists in your home, then follow it by guessing the emotions your partner has about it, I'll go first: Decluttering living room area: Me ANger -that it feels like we can never get ahead of it shame- that my lack of caring strongly about it def makes it harder for ALyssa Guilt - that I do de-prioritize it from my work fear - in this chapter of life (next couples months) with less child care help that this could get escalated especially as our 3 year old is getting more creative with resources and using more things lonely - that ALyssa thinks its just on her Sad - home much shame, guilt and pain ALyssa gets from seeing the space that way Hurt - when (not too frequent) ALyssa blames things on me that the living room has acheived this state bc i don't care Joy - when i put the miniutes into clearing/cleaning it Her (my guess) Anger - that Zach doesn't care about it the way i do shame - that I'll be judged by family/community from how messy it is guilt - that i get anger about ti being messy when its just our toddler having fun fear - that it will forever be unequal level of care lonely - that I'm the only one that cares and puts effor tinto it sad - how much pain i get from seeing it this way hurt - that Zach knows how much i care and doesn't put in the same or more effort into it Joy - when its clean when i get back from somewhere