My internal monologue while running a 5k on the treadmill:
Ok, I've got this.
Actually, this sucks ass. I'll just run for a mile.
Why is this so awful?
I'm still going. May as well hit two miles. That will be enough for me to feel accomplished.
Wow it's hard to breathe.
Why am I here?
*Imagines I'm with Darren's running group in Thailand and I can't stop running or I'll look like a little bitch in front of all those hot people*
Made it two miles and I can't feel my legs. Guess I'll just keep going until I die.
Don't be a little bitch. Don't be a little bitch.
F*ck it, I'm almost done, let's speed up and finish this shit strong.
5k done. *Dies*