Stop shouting at the plant: Why 'willpower' is not the problem

🔥

What do you do when a client knows exactly what they need to do... but still avoids doing it?

Many of us were taught to look at a lack of willpower or a bad mindset.

But the best coaches intuitively know that if a plant in a greenhouse is failing to grow, you don't shout at it to "try harder." 🌻

You check the soil, the water, and the temperature.

When a client is stuck, it's almost never an effort problem. It's an environmental problem.

This brings us to the second step of REWIRE: Expose the Frame.

Exposing the Frame means finding the hidden logic that's secretly running your client's life.

Here are two common "Frames" I see all the time:

😨 The Stress Trigger

Think of an email inbox. It's just a neutral list of text.
But for someone who has accidentally linked their inbox to angry clients or unexpected bills, that list feels like a threat.
Their brain changes the meaning of the little email icon, turning it into a danger signal. (In behavioural science, this is called Transformation of Stimulus Function).
They're not avoiding the work. They're avoiding the very real internal stress response the work triggers. (In REWIRE, running from your own internal discomfort is called Experiential Avoidance).

🪤 The Guilt Trap

Many high-achievers are trapped in a cycle where they only work to please an inner critic or to avoid feeling guilty.
Their "motivation" is actually just fear of getting in trouble.
This guarantees they will burn out or crash the moment nobody is watching. (In the REWIRE, we identify this as Pliance, the name for a specific type of rule-following).

As a coach your job is to expose these hidden frames for your client.

Once you show them that their avoidance is a completely logical, predictable response to their environment, the shame disappears.

They stop seeing themselves as a "lazy procrastinator" and start seeing the real enemy: a faulty frame.

This is the first 'E' in REWIRE: E = Expose the Frame.

What are the most common "stress triggers" you see in your daily lives?

Is it their email inbox, their calendar, their phone, or something else?

Share below.

This is post 2 of 5 on the REWIRE Method.

See the previous post in the series - 'R' here

Next up, we'll cover the 'W' in REWIRE.

0 comments