Jul 14 • Communities
𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗜'𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀.
When I first started helping people, I focused a lot on techniques.
What technique works for anxiety?
What technique works for confidence?
What technique works for fears?
Over time I've realised there are much better questions:
"𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗰𝗸?"
"𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁?”
“𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱?”
Because two people can have the same problem for completely different reasons.
Different stories.
Different experiences.
Different barriers.
...and often, different destinations.
The technique is just the tool.
Understanding where someone is now, and where they want to get to, comes first.
That's probably the biggest reason Control & Change has evolved.
𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.
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𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗜'𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀.
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