I want to give a shout out to Tristan, one of my clients, who made a big move this week. He's travelled to Mexico, on his own, to challenge many of his comfort zone boundaries. One is speaking Spanish - he only has a little bit of Spanish, and is pushing himself to speak to locals. The other is travellling on his own - the proper no-luxury style - and having to solve all the problems of being in a foreign country. I can speak from experience in saying pushing yourself to speak a new language that you're not comfortable with in a deep immersion like this takes a LOT of courage, especially when you have a history of social anxiety in your own country with your comfortable language! And travelling on your own is a right of passage I recommend to anyone wanting to prove themselves to themselves. This trip is the culmination of many months of hard work developing his values and pushing past his fears. Congrats Tristan!

I want to recognise one of my clients, Andy, who has absolutely crushed it over the last year. Since we started working together, Andy has: - learned to confront his workmates to protect himself from their toxic behaviours, and no longer cares about other peoples' negative opinions and judgments - trained for and completed his first triathlon (and is now training for Iron Man) - ended an unhealthy long-term friendship despite pressure from family to continue - pulled the trigger and started a new business that he was procrastinating on for years - organised an overseas trip to face fears of new/different All of these things were significant acts of courage, facing and overcoming deeply conditioned social fears and crippling limiting beliefs. Andy challenged his thought patterns, broke the goals down into tiny parts to reduce overwhelm, and completed the often challenging homework tasks to change his mindset. His son now has a role-model I'd be happy to recommend to others. He's earned it the hard way. I'm blessed to be a in a position where my clients impress me on a regular basis, I get to watch the hero's journey play out in real life.

I haven't written anything much of late, and I have this idea that one day I'll be more healed from nice guybsyndrom than I am, and I'll have all positive words to say. Meanwhile, as I am in the process of healing, and growing in courage, honesty, and integrity, I have to report on an old pattern. This is one tgat has been huge in my life in the past, and seems is still about. I was challenged by a man I respect that I live too mych and reference to much to /in my past. This was when I was sharing with him about why I find celebrating myself hard, and mybexample was from like 4 years old. And after this exchange I remembered how often I have had similar feedback, and how much I think the nice guy people pleaser thing is so linked to trying to get others to heal my past for me. One time I had a slap in the face with this was an ex partner, of who's 2 mail reason's for leaving me, 1 was i was too stucknin the past, too much thinkingbibwas special and my pain / my padt was worse than others. It's taken me a ling time to see the selfishness in padt focus. It's taken me a long time to see the deceit in beingba people pleaser. Another past, present, future, thing for me is that learning thing. Remembering to remeber I am prone to being stuck in the padt, and being now instead, or even thinkingbabout where I'd like to be next (future thinking is a huge challenge for me historicaly, and even now is hard for me to calm myself and focus enough to do). I guess I'm angry, and disappointed in myself, that I still have this . I am aware though, tgat that feeds it, and tge best thing I can probably do is to use that anger to help myself act in the now, and plan a better future. I share this here to let it out, to let out the behavior and bekeifs I don't want to do any more, and to be open to any ideas other men have on these issues. Thanks.

My Son turned 16 yesterday. He lives only down the road from me. He doesn't reply to my simple messages. I stopped communicating with the mother a year ago because she doesn't reply either unless she wants to have a go at me. That's what it feels like. He was busy yesterday so today I cooked and baked and bought a cake, thinking he'll come up once he's finished what he's doing. Even though messages to get clarity on that were met once again with nothing. I thought to myself, all I can do is do my best for the things I can control and not get angry because of my pain from how I feel they're treating me, and get sad and want to throw the towel in and do nothing. That wouldn't be fair on him because he's just a teenager, a child. So I have to be the adult and still be there for my Son and not try to control what I assume is going on outside of me. I have a feeling this all stems from the mother's pain if any, she has with me. And also my lack of boundaries and lack of asking for respect and showing that I at least mean something to myself. I messaged the mother tonight and she said no he's not coming. I don't want to reply to her and get more sad. This has been going on for ages but getting gradually worse and worse. No cooperation at all. I feel like going away and pretending they don't exist anymore.

Brotherhood Group Coaching coming up in October Hey guys, As Skool now does native live-streaming (i.e. I can do group calls directly in the Brotherhood group on Skool), we'll be using that instead of Zoom from now on. What you need to do: 1. Join the Brotherhood group on Skool. If you're a paid member you should have already received an invite from me to join. If not, DM me asap to let me know. (NOTE: This is a different group to the Brojo Worldwide group on Skool, which is for free members. I know it's a bit confusing, but I have 2 groups.) 2. When it comes time for the call, simply log into the Brotherhood group on Skool and you'll see at the top of the newsfeed the call coming up and where to click to join in. There will still be a recording that I'll make available to everyone afterwards if you can't make it. NEXT CALL TIME: Message or email me if you won't make it and want questions answered, and email me your questions if you can't make it live. Next month's session is listed in the Brojo Calendar: https://www.skool.com/brojo-the-integrity-army-6491/calendar See you there! Dan