OK guys, last reminder. If you want the permanent $50 discount to join the Brotherhood level membership (Premium), you have 24 hours to claim it. After that, it's only available at $99/month. Not only will Brotherhood membership give you access to all the courses, but also all the private workshops and calls we've had as a group, including: - Social confidence building and authentic dating strategies - How to not care what people think of you - Nice guy recovery 7 part series - Ask Women Anything - How to stop being defensive - Applying the 3X Model in real life situations - Living by your values - Getting over loneliness - PLUS dozens of live 1:1 coaching session recordings And so many more - we do new live workshops every 2 weeks! And we have a private Skool group where you can get personal support from me and the other members. So click here to upgrade to the Brotherhood today for just $50/month. This is the last message I'll send about it. Dan P.S. The free level of membership will also expire in 24 hours, unless you contribute at least one post per month to the group. We'll start removing members who don't contribute (or pay at least $9/month) over the next few weeks.

It's that time again! Comment below by calling your shot for this week: What healthy, value-based action do you commit to doing this week to improve your life? And how did you get on with last week's commitment? https://www.skool.com/brojo-the-integrity-army-6491/monday-accountability-52624f13?p=fd82d468

Hey everyone, from now on I will post all Daily Dose of Integrity newsletters into this one thread, to avoid clogging up the newsfeed every day. See the latest comments for the most recent Daily Doses. Enjoy!

I’m relatively new to all of this and I wanted to share a bit about my Nice Guy journey as it’s been a bit of a whirlwind for me. I thought I was fine, I thought I was a good husband, dad and son. I worked, I helped around the house, I was there when I was needed. I listened whenever my wife told me stories of her friends’ partners staying out late and felt good that I never did that. Then, last December, my wife told me she wasn’t happy, that she didn’t feel emotionally connected to me and thought we should get through Christmas and maybe separate in the New Year. I genuinely didn’t see it coming. For the first time in my life I could see myself losing everything that I had been working for. I started desperately looking for answers because I thought I was doing everything right. Eventually, one day I saw a recommendation for No More Mr Nice Guy and listened to a 15-minute summary on my way home from work. I had to pull over as I had never had something resonate with me so much and at the same time show me how many of my behaviours I thought were “good” were actually causing problems! I then found this community and was bowled over at how many other guys this has affected. I was avoiding conflict, people pleasing, making covert contracts and hiding what I wanted. I never realised how much of myself I had given up in the process. Whenever someone expressed a negative feeling, I would try and fix things without realising I was actually shutting them down. I thought I was helping, but often I was just uncomfortable and trying to make it go away. These last few months have been the hardest in my life. I have been trying to focus on myself and rediscover the real me. I am also learning to recognise and be honest about my feelings, accepting that others may not agree but that it doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is in danger. In addition, the hardest part though has been stopping myself from fixing other people’s problems and just acknowledging what they were feeling.

Luke works as a bricklayer. He’s always worked in the trades, ever since leaving high school early because the only topic he enjoyed was mechanical engineering. He does his 9 to 5, bantering with his like-minded workmates, sensing his career path forward in a vague yet certain way. He will be “on the tools” for 5-10 years, then he’ll be promoted to a supervisory role, and eventually he’ll start his own business. He’ll get a mortgage to buy a house, marry a woman he meets through his friends or on a dating app. They’ll have “a few” kids. He’ll retire in his mid-sixties, playing golf on the weekends, or going fishing with his grandkids. All of this was decided on the day Luke was born. Luke walks a path that was laid out for him by the universe, from the moment of conception until the moment his soul leaves his body. Only a significantly unusual event could change this story. It’s not a “bad” life. But it is a conditioned life. Luke has had no choice but to play his role, like an actor following the instructions of an invisible director. In the late 1800s, a researcher named Ivan Pavlov discovered that he could make dogs salivate as if food had been placed in front of them simply by ringing a bell. He conditioned the dogs to associate the sound of the bell with receiving food, until he could remove the food and just use the bell to get the same response. In the early 1900s, Edward Thorndike showed us that humans respond to a basic reward process, where we’re more likely to repeat a behaviour if it consistently gets satisfactory outcomes, and how this could be used to influence people into learning things. We would later discover that we could apply this to people against their will, essentially using rewards to force them to act in certain ways (e.g. gambling machines). A few decades later, behaviourists like John Watson and B.F. Skinner showed us that we could accurately control the behaviours of others through operant conditioning - using specific combinations of reward and punishment to make people behave in certain ways, regardless of the person’s original beliefs about such behaviour. We discovered that “voluntary” behaviour eventually can be moved into controlled behaviour, and if interviewed, the person would report that they “chose” to do it, even though it could be clearly demonstrated that they were programmed to do it.