The following is a real live coaching session hosted by Dan Munro, and featuring Brojo veteran Andy. ----------- If you’re a nice guy or people pleaser who’s working actively on becoming more confident, I have no doubt that recently, or soon, you’re going to have an experience where you completely relapse, usually due to some sort of setback from the outside world, getting sick, maybe a parent says something really nasty to you, you go through a big breakup, some stressful event at work, something will knock you off your course, and it makes you feel like you’ve completely reset to zero. You’d probably be quite shocked and disappointed at how quickly the old, nice guy version of you regains power over you. It’s like you’ve completely gone back to the old way of doing things. You have a victim mindset. You’re indulging in the old addictive or self destructive behaviour patterns, the coping mechanisms, and the things that were once easy or getting easier as you grew your confidence now feel really difficult again, like you’ve never done them before. All the old fears have come back, like you’re pushing through mud. Now this is actually a very common dilemma. In fact, it’s an almost necessary part of the nice guy recovery process. Relapse is built into the model of recovery. So the problem is in reaction to a big, unexpected setback, or even a small but significant one, while we’re in the transition phase of building our confidence, we can easily get completely set back to zero, because that’s still the strongest programming we have. In this episode you will witness me coaching a guy named Andy who’s just gone through a massive relapse like this, and is trying to get back on his feet. Last year, during our work together Andy made some really massive gains. A particularly confident move he made was to quit his comfortable but unsatisfying nine to five job and to back himself boldly and responsibly into create a career in art. And for months, things were working. He was getting workshops up and running. He was teaching people. He was doing his art, going to galleries and so on, to present his art to people, even overcoming his fear of their judgments and criticisms.

Action is the ONLY currency to lasting change. Let me keep it simple with this post with no back story so it might sound strange. I'm giving myself 3 days to write an opening segment for my standup comedy routine, practice it and then record it. This Wednesday by March 18th I need to have it recorded. I gotta make some moves and take action. I'm determined. Thanks for everyone's support so far on everything and thanks in advance on this one. Maybe on a later post I'll provide some backstory. For now, the action is more important. I'll keep you all posted.

When nice guys lose momentum, they usually think the problem is burnout. But most of the time… it's actually something else. In a 1:1 coaching session we did live here in Skool, @Andy Wallam came to me feeling stuck after a rough year. In 2025 he left his safe 9-to-5 job to pursue his creative career. Things were going well. Then he got hit with influenza and COVID back-to-back. Months later his body had recovered, but psychologically he still felt that he identified as “the fatigued guy.” And during the session I pointed out something that might sound a bit brutal: He’d slipped back into a victim mindset. This is incredibly common for recovering nice guys. When momentum breaks, the brain grabs the first excuse it can find and quietly pulls you back into the old identity — the one where life is happening to you instead of because of you. In the session we break down: • Why setbacks can reactivate the victim mindset • How fatigue and imposter syndrome reinforce each other • The uncomfortable phase of becoming a responsible man again If you’ve ever felt like you’re capable of more but somehow keep spinning your wheels, you’ll probably recognise yourself in this conversation. The full coaching session is available, enjoy!

I’m considering running a small coaching cohort in April. This would be a 1-month intensive behaviour-focused group, based on the core work I do with clients around confidence and integrity building through action. It wouldn’t be a course or passive content thing. More like a structured month of doing the work together with a small group of men. A few details if I run it: • Small group (limited spaces) - probably maxium 5 people • Live coaching sessions twice per week focused on each person taking a small but significant action within 24 hours • Direct feedback from me • Lifetime access to the Brojo courses afterwards Because of the nature of the work, I’ll probably keep it invitation-only rather than opening it publicly. Right now I’m just gauging interest. If this is something you’d seriously consider joining in April, comment below or message me and I’ll keep you in the loop when details are finalized. Dan

Time for something fun: the "would you rather...?" game! 😁🤔 I'll start us off with a tough one: Would you rather ask out a complete stranger? OR Stand up to a bully who's been bothering you for years? Looking forward to your questions and answers! 👍😎