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148 contributions to Brojo: Confidence & Integrity
I used to think I was a nice guy, turns out I’m a Nice Guy!
I’m relatively new to all of this and I wanted to share a bit about my Nice Guy journey as it’s been a bit of a whirlwind for me. I thought I was fine, I thought I was a good husband, dad and son. I worked, I helped around the house, I was there when I was needed. I listened whenever my wife told me stories of her friends’ partners staying out late and felt good that I never did that. Then, last December, my wife told me she wasn’t happy, that she didn’t feel emotionally connected to me and thought we should get through Christmas and maybe separate in the New Year. I genuinely didn’t see it coming. For the first time in my life I could see myself losing everything that I had been working for. I started desperately looking for answers because I thought I was doing everything right. Eventually, one day I saw a recommendation for No More Mr Nice Guy and listened to a 15-minute summary on my way home from work. I had to pull over as I had never had something resonate with me so much and at the same time show me how many of my behaviours I thought were “good” were actually causing problems! I then found this community and was bowled over at how many other guys this has affected. I was avoiding conflict, people pleasing, making covert contracts and hiding what I wanted. I never realised how much of myself I had given up in the process. Whenever someone expressed a negative feeling, I would try and fix things without realising I was actually shutting them down. I thought I was helping, but often I was just uncomfortable and trying to make it go away. These last few months have been the hardest in my life. I have been trying to focus on myself and rediscover the real me. I am also learning to recognise and be honest about my feelings, accepting that others may not agree but that it doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is in danger. In addition, the hardest part though has been stopping myself from fixing other people’s problems and just acknowledging what they were feeling.
2 likes • 1d
It hit me so hard, not knowing who I actually was after so much people pleasing. Then having the courage to begin the journey of discovering who I was. Dan once told me if it feels scary but isn't reckless it's probably the right course of action.
Monday Accountability
It's that time again! Comment below by calling your shot for this week: What healthy, value-based action do you commit to doing this week to improve your life? And how did you get on with last week's commitment? https://www.skool.com/brojo-the-integrity-army-6491/monday-accountability-52624f13?p=fd82d468
1 like • 1d
continue with exercise but focus more on upper body strength.
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2 likes • 23d
Good changes..that commitment to change is so important
Monday Accountability
Comment below by calling your shot for this week: What healthy, value-based action do you commit to doing this week to improve your life? And how did you get on with last week's commitment?
2 likes • 28d
doing the previous clay everyday plus stretching.. next one reach out to at least one person re my business everyday...
Monday Accountability
Comment below by calling your shot for this week: What healthy, value-based action do you commit to doing this week to improve your life? And how did you get on with last week's commitment?
5 likes • May 19
Do my stretching every day ..afternoon..
1-10 of 148
Andy Wallam
6
1,499points to level up
@andy-wallam-6695
Living on the west coast of New Zealand.. Into ceramics and electronica ...and coaching. Loving the freedom to be curious and explore.

Active 5h ago
Joined Jul 15, 2024
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