Making Other People Happy Is Ruining Your Life · Brojo: Confidence & Integrity

Making Other People Happy Is Ruining Your Life

Most people pleasers believe that they’re kind and generous, that they care about others, but what if I was to tell you that most of what you’re doing is actually coming from a place of fear.

People pleasing isn’t about helping others, or making other people happy. It’s about controlling how you’re perceived so that you can avoid conflict, rejection, and being judged, and the cost of this particular strategy is enormous. You resent everybody, you lose track of who you are, and you create a life that’s ultimately quite miserable and uncomfortable.

So today we’re going to cover the core lie behind people pleasing: the idea that you are making other people happy.

We’re going to attack this lie so that we can rescue you from the trap it’s put you in and help steer you towards a life you’ll actually enjoy and other people will even appreciate more. I’m not going to tell you to stop caring about other people. I’m going to show you why trying to make them happy doesn’t work, and why making people happy doesn’t mean that you’re a good person.

People pleasers aren’t bad, selfish or manipulative on purpose. There’s no conscious kind of manipulative drive here. In fact, if that was you, then you’re not really a people pleaser. If you know that you’re just using this to control people and you don’t actually care about them, then you’re more on the psychopathic or narcissistic spectrum. This post is for people who actually think of themselves as good people and think that making others happy is a good thing to be doing…

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