Day 4 "To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;"

Um 🫣 it's nearly 1am and I've just completed the day 4 video and AIH questions. (I wasn't going to because I was about to sleep but the voice in my head said "no excuses" and here we are. )

I had to laugh when the video started and it was taking about sleep (I had to look up what that illusive word "sleep" meant as I don't think I've done it since I was 5... Well not the neuro typical way anyway... ) My natural rhythm has always been asleep by 2am awake by 10 .. Maybe that's why I've been drawn to being an entertainer (opera singer) unfortunately for me though the rest of my family live in the real world and I have to be awake at 7 to do the school run etc. But I digress

Needles to say I won't be doing the nighttime wind down tonight. 😆🥱

I'll share what AIH summarised for my day 4...

"Look at the mirror you've drawn yourself. Your external chaos is a house you "can't (or don't want to maybe) stay on top of." Your internal state, in your own words, is "fragmented and messy... putting out spot fires all the time." But notice who's holding everything - 90% of the parenting, dinner every night, the full mental and emotional load of your son's social school struggles. You're not inert because you're failing. You're inert because you're carrying so much for everyone else that there's nothing left to pour into the one thing that's actually yours. The unpracticed singing isn't avoidance. It's what gets sacrificed first when a woman believes her own desires come last."

I sort of agree, but if I'm honest it is or at least feels like avoidance... It's like I'm sabotaging or rebelling against what I say I want which ties more into yesterday 's learnings so I'll just be with this feeling knowing that this too is a clue.

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Day 4 "To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;"