Our brains are not neutral...ever wonder why one negative comment can derail your whole day while getting positive feedback barely does anything? Why it can be difficult to try new things? Why losing $20 feels worse than winning $20? Why breaking a stream feels more painful than maintaining it feels joyful? This is the brain running on 2 psychological pathways that happen automatically: The negativity bias and loss aversion. Negativity bias means your brain gives negative stimuli preferential treatment. The amygdala fires more rapidly and intensely when it detects anything potentially threatening or painful. Positive events register, but they simply do not activate the same level of neural intensity. So negative experiences feel more intense. Then, loss aversion doubles down. From a cognitive standpoint, losses are viewed as more significant than gains. The psychological “cost” of losing tends to outweigh the psychological “benefit” of gaining, even when the events are equal in size. Your brain would rather avoid the pain of losing than pursue the pleasure of winning. This means negative experiences have more gravitational pull in your mind. Let's translate this to relationships. The Gottman's (gurus on relationships who have tons of research on this) give us the example: In close relationships, you need roughly five positive interactions for every one negative to maintain stability. This ratio is not arbitrary. It counterbalances the heavier cognitive and emotional weight that negative interactions carry. A single critical comment activates both biases, so the positives must come in higher volume to keep the system regulated. 5:1!! That's some weight! But, having a ratio like this, tells us that we CAND do something about it: these biases may be automatic, BUT we can work with counteracting them a bit. We can strengthen prefrontal cortex regulation through intentional activities such as savoring, recognition of micro-moments of connection, naming strengths, repair attempts, and cognitive reframing. Basically being on the lookout for the good.

There’s always a moment in December where the truth hits you: Something has to shift. It’s not drama — it’s awareness. And awareness is the doorway to change. If you had to release ONE thing before 2026 begins… what would it be?

December 4th: Spotlight on @Chris Wendt for today! His community focuses on helping others build financial freedom: Dollar Discipline University If this is something of interest to you, go check it out! :) It's been nice getting to know him and he has genuine care for helping others! This is a recent post he made within this group: whats-one-habit-you-wish-you-built-earlier-in-life

Imagine starting the new year already centered, energized, and grounded — instead of trying to undo the stress of December. Movement, rest, mindfulness, reading, presence… These are the practices that change how you feel day to day — not quick fixes. What’s one habit you want to rebuild before the year ends?

I tell myself that I love a good challenge--and this is true if it's in an area where I feel either competent or excited about or both! But is it less true if those factors don't exist? Maybe. How much of a challenge is it really if it's still kind of in my comfort zone? Many people wait to feel ready before they take on something difficult. But readiness is usually the reward we get after doing the hard thing, not before. Challenges stretch our minds, expand our emotional bandwidth, and reshape our brains for the better. 🧠 Here comes the nerdy stuff!! I love it so much though: What's at work? 1. Prefrontal Cortex: This part of the brain supports planning, decision making and emotional regulation. Hard tasks strengthen this region, improving self control and long term thinking. Executive functioning skills here we come! 2. Anterior mid Cingulate Cortex: This region is activated when we face conflict, discomfort or uncertainty. It helps ups with building cognitive flexibility and grit. It helps us survive! 3. Hippocampus: Challenges promote neuroplasticity which supports learning, memory and resilience. Pushing your limits in manageable doses helps this area 4. Dopamine System: Completing difficult tasks triggers reward pathways. This builds confidence, motivation and a sense of mastery. It reinforces the message that you can do hard things and survive. And who doesn't want a little dopamine hit here and there? Taking on challenges creates internal shifts like learning we can handle discomfort, our ability to tolerate uncertainty increases, we build a sense of self trust, we start believing that we are capable, we become less reactive under pressure and stress becomes more like information rather than danger. ⚡ Why It Matters A life without challenge feels safe, but it also keeps us small and not growing. A life with challenge feels uncomfortable but we end up growing and helping ourselves down the line. We do not grow by staying within the edges of what you already know, but rather by stepping into a level of difficulty that activates your brain, stretches your identity and builds capacity you did not know you had. :) Pretty cool stuff, right? :) :)