𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘀 𝘃𝘀. 𝗞𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘀: 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 A friend shared an experience and said something along the lines of "I have no where else to be. This is what this time is for. There's no need to rush." It was a beautiful way to hear time and exprience being described. Shortly after, I was reading and the concept of Kairos came up (in contrast to Chronos) and it got me thinking about time and how we spend it. We tend to think of time as something we measure: minutes, hours, deadlines, calendars, birthdays, appointments...The relentless march of "you're late", "what's next", "gotta catch up". 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲: chronological, sequential, measurable time. It asks "What time is it?" But there’s 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲: 𝗞𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘀. Kairos is the right moment a meaningful, opportune, or significant moment that isn’t necessarily measured by a clock. It's more of an experience. It's about Presence. It asks, "𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲" as opposed to "what time is it"... We can spend three hours doing something and feel like it took ten minutes because we were fully present and immersed. Or....we can spend ten minutes waiting for something and feel like we've aged 10 years. Our orientation (and heart posturing perhaps?) with the allotted time matters. Chronos helps us schedule our lives and counts the moments. Kairos helps us experience our lives and give the moments meaning. 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗞𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆? (A moment that felt significant, timely, or somehow bigger than the amount of time it actually took?) POLL: What's your relationship with time? ----------------------------------------------𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗟-------------------------------------------------------- 𝗔𝗻 𝗔𝗜 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄 𝗼𝗳 𝗢𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗻𝘀: The ancient Greeks used Chronos to mean quantitative, linear, sequential clock-and-calendar time, personified as the primeval deity of ages. They used Kairos to mean qualitative, opportune, "in-between" moments of decisive action, personified as the youngest child of Zeus, representing the fleeting, perfect window to act.

There's a concept called a 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐠i which is a personal challenge so meaningful and difficult that there is a real possibility of failure (like 50% likelihood of failure even if you do everything 'right'). The goal of this isn't necessarily achievement, but the transformation that happens along the way. While the challenge itself may be physical in nature, the real test ends up being mental, emotional and spiritual. It basically has two rules: 1. 1.Make the task extremely challenging (with a 50/50 chance of failure/success) 2. 2. Do not die We live in a society where 'rites of passage' have been pushed aside. Helicopter parenting and now snowplow parenting have taken a front seat and both of these have had an interesting impact on our ability to handle tough situations. Tough situations that arise as part of living in a world where things aren't perfect. This is not to shame individuals that engage in these type of behaviors. These behaviors often come from a place of good intentions but also, often, from a place of fear. It seems that research (and seeing others' lived experience) shows that the 'right amount of challenge' is really needed for optimal growth. For us to feel capable, equipped, a sense of (healthy) pride and adequacy. A sense of "I can do it (or at least try), even if it's challenging...even if I will fail". From a psychological perspective, a Misogi works because it challenges some of our most common patterns: 1. 1. 𝐀𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞: We naturally try to avoid discomfort, uncertainty, and situations where we might feel inadequate. The problem is that avoiding discomfort can also mean avoiding growth. A Misogi asks: "What would I attempt if I wasn't organizing my life around avoiding failure?" 1. 2.𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲: Many of us protect the identity we have created: "I'm not athletic," "I'm not creative," "I'm not a leader," "I'm not someone who does hard things." A meaningful challenge gives us the opportunity to rewrite the narrative that we've clung to.

Self-care, self-love, self-reflection....self, self, self. These all seem to be great things, but is there a dark side to this? Have we become so obsessed with ourselves that we're actually doing more harm than good? The opposite, self-abandonment and self-neglect, are not great either. Is there a line that we can walk better? Can we have a better relationship with our selves? 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐀 Philautia (φιλαυτία) comes from Ancient Greek: philos = love, affection autos = self - Meaning: self-love or love of oneself. In some contexts this was seen as a virtue while in others it's seen as a vice. So, I suppose context and further definition matters. 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 Healthy self-regard is beneficial for wellbeing....I'd argue that humility is being able to be grounded in truth. It's not about downing oneself, but rather about being abile to see something for what it is--we'd be able to see our strong points and also our weak points. But with our ability to see our weaknessess and mistakes, we would also need to pair that up with self-compassion This leads to more resilience, more accountability, and increased ability to learn from our mistakes. In this sense, self-love isn't arrogance but it's rather the foundation of growth. 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐀𝐁𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 Many philosophical and religious traditions offer a caution though-- when the self becomes the primary object of our attention, something begins to distort. Psychology also echose this in some way--we know that excessive self-focus is linked to heightened sensitivity to perceived threats/criticism, rumination, anxiety and depression. If the mind becomes trapped into the loop of "how do I feel", "What does this mean about me?", and "how am I being perceived" and this has detrimental effects---the more we obsess about ourselves, the less fulfilled we become. Our relationship with others AND our relationship wtih ourselves suffers. It becomes pigeon holed and doesn't take our whole being into account. If you've gotten to this point, here's what I read that inspired this whole post:

I saw this little meme the other day that said "Unfortunately, I want to do everything! And I want to do it all excellently, immediately, and with no learning curve!". This encapsulates my energy towards wanting to do SO many things. I don't mind the hard work that it takes to learn something new (I tend to embrace the suck that comes along with learning), BUT I do mind that it comes with the time commitment and at the expense of being able to do other things. We live in a land of excess...ahem, I mean, opportunities. Sometimes the availability of so many options really can really impact the cognitive load which then affects decision making, starting, and follow through. Mental fatigue isn't always caused by "doing too much". A lot of times, it's caused by asking our brains to manage too many unnecessary decisions, distractions, and competing demands all at once. The goal of this post is to help to move us from reactive thinking ("backseat driving") to intentional thinking ("Front-seat driving"). 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲 1. 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐄𝐎 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞) Not ever y choice deserves a board meeting in our brain... Reduce small, repetitive decisions whenever possible. Create routines, meal plans, workout schedules, or standardized processes. The fewer unnecessary choices we make, the more brainpower we save for decisions that actually matter. 2. 𝐏𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐭 (𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤) While our brains may appreciate novelty (yay new neural connections), it does not thrive in chaos. Create dedicated blocks for focused work instead of constantly switching between tasks. Every time we jump around, our brain pays a "refocus tax." 3. 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐚 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 If our environment is screaming for our attention, our brain is fighting a battle before it can even begin. Clear your workspace and remove distractions. Remove clutter, silence notifications, put your phone in a different room. Make the 'right' action the easiest action. The easier it is to begin a task, the less willpower and cognitive effort are required to get started.

𝐃𝐀𝐘 1 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄: 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓 𝐀 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓 Most of us move through our days on autopilot, noticing only what's familiar or immediately relevant. This scavenger hunt is designed to interrupt that pattern. By intentionally searching for specific objects, colors, shapes, textures, or experiences, you'll train your attention to pick up details that would normally go unnoticed. So...pick a goal and tell us what you've found! Super plus if you can take a picture! Some examples: - Something yellow - A heart shape - A reflection - Something older than you - Something handmade - A plant growing in an unexpected place - Observation-Focused - Evidence that a human was here - Evidence that an animal was here - Something that has changed over time - A pattern that repeats - Something you have passed by many times but never really noticed - Creative - Something that looks like a face - Something that reminds you of your childhood - Something that symbolizes hope - Something that represents resilience - Something beautiful that most people would overlook - An object that could inspire a story - Something that seems out of place - A "hidden treasure" in an ordinary setting - People & Community - An act of kindness - Evidence of creativity - Something that tells a story about your community - A sign of hard work - Something that makes you smile What were you on the lookout for today and what did you notice? Thanks to @Steve Webb and his group 30daychallengers for introducing me to the book The Art of Noticing. His community offers one live 30-day challenge every month. It provides a space where we can turn good intentions into action and each day there is a daily prompt/action related to the month's challenge. This month's challenge is 30 days of sunlight, movement, and remembering what the real world feels like. There's access to previous challenges as well and the community is great about support!