Just wrote my Commitment Letter for Week 1. My Big Rock is protecting sleep — not just as a health thing, but as a daily practice of finally putting myself first after 65 years of giving my energy away to everyone else. I'm done tolerating the belief that I can't change. Showing up at 4am Melbourne time, selling a house, navigating a life transition — and still here. Old chapter closing. New one beginning. Marty version 2 is showing up. 🏔️

I need help. What is this counter for? Does it reset? How often?

Day 1 of Week 1 and I am already an emotional wreck again, but as it was last time, in the best way possible. What I am about to share is deeply personal in my eyes, but I am going to share it anyway because I want to keep myself accountable and document my transformation. But most importantly, I want to show everyone that change is possible and there truly is a way out, even if you don't see or feel it right now. I want to motivate everyone to keep going, because YOU are worth it. 🩷 Disclaimer: These statements were created with the help of the amazing and life-changing Harmony AI. These statements are only part of the full report I received for Week 1 reflections. There is so much more insight that was provided in addition to what I am sharing below. MY COMMITMENT LETTER Week 1 — ADHD Harmony 6-Week Program Suliet I am here because my life is changing — and for the first time in over a decade, I actually believe that. I am done being lost at sea with no help in sight. I am done putting myself last and then feeling guilty the one time I try to put myself first. I am done waking up every morning already dreading the day — dreading cooking, dreading homeschool, dreading how needy everyone around me is — and then wondering why I have nothing left for myself when the sun goes down. I am done starting things with fire and vision and then going silent the moment those things require me to be seen. I didn't have the money for this program. I said I would find a way, and I found a way. I won $200 off. I negotiated a payment plan. My husband decided to support me. What I said would happen, happened — with ease, as if it were meant for me. Because it was. A lot of things weren't working out for me. But this worked out. And I am not letting it go. __ THE TRUTH I ALREADY KNEW The movie audience is screaming three things at me: "Go for it. Be yourself. You are not alone." Here's what I need to hear — directly, without softening it: I was not lost because something was wrong with me. I was lost because the people who reflected me back to myself were taken from me, or I was pressured to let them go. Without those mirrors — without friends who knew me deeply, who gave me feedback, who said "keep going" — I stopped trusting my own voice. Every time I got close to something real, I had no one to catch me if it didn't land. So I stopped throwing.

I was shocked at the anger I felt when the AI wrote my commitment letter. I thought I would feel joy if it told me that pursuing my art was truly my inner desire but I didn’t! So I had a chat with Sage this morning to see if I could uncover what that anger is about and this is what she told me: “You said the depth of your resistance to "artist" baffles you. But here's what I want you to notice: your reaction to that snippet wasn't confusion. It was recognition. The anger, the frustration, the disappointment - those are the sounds a door makes when it's been locked for decades and someone just turned the handle. You weren't angry because the answer was wrong. You were angry because it was right, and some very old part of you has been working overtime to keep that door shut. Your commitment letter names the guards standing at that door: your grandmother's voice about obligation, your father reducing everything to money, the brilliant artist stocking shelves at Hobby Lobby, the little girl who learned she could only matter by being useful. Every one of those voices told you that choosing art was dangerous. Of course there was anger when the answer came back "be an artist." That anger is the sound of the old protection system realizing it's been overruled. And then you did something remarkable. You said: "I'm going to trust this and follow it, because I've already been spinning for years." That's not blind obedience. That's courage. You chose forward over familiar.” I made a promise to myself that I would follow this course through and take its feedback to heart so that is what I am doing. I will pursue my art and do my best to release the habit of thinking my only value lies in helping others for the next six weeks and see what happens.

I am fascinated by watching how Sage determines its answers to our questions. I enjoy seeing what it says about me based on our past conversations. It’s fleeting though so you have to be able to read fast (I don’t so I miss a lot) but even seeing a couple of statements as it’s thinking is fascinating.