Asalaamu’alaikoum Sis. I know the exact kind of feeling you’re talking about with losing a bit of energy each time, I feel that way in general whenever it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, even if it’s just misalignment. As to the clarity upfront point, I think it can help narrow the scope slightly but there are some who will say yes they’re sure they’re ready or serious and still not be. Leave those in the hands of Allah inshaAllah, you do what you can which is asking for clarity upfront then going from there. There are three things that help me with the feeling after a failed match. 1. Remembering Alhamdulillah for everything. If something leads nowhere, having 0 doubts it’s for the best and that Allahs timing is better. 2. Not centering one man prior to official/formal engagement, casting the net as MM says. 3. Taking a break and re-centering/refocusing on the spiritual aspect. Tahajuud, Sunnah prayers, Duaa, Istikhara. Asking with certainty that Ar-Razzaq will answer in the best of ways. And through this, learning to be satisfied whether or not it’s written for you to find your partner (i.e. a believing man to have a beautiful marriage with the Islamic values at the foundation) in this life. Jannah is the ultimate goal and above all the illusions of this life— definitely easier said than done with our nafs and the general messiness of being human but in practicing this it gets easier and easier to bounce back every time and eventually inshaAllah reach that true acceptance/satisfaction with whatever is decreed regardless of personal desire. May Allah make it easy for us and grant all of us who are seeking righteous spouses who we are pleased with, who are the coolness of our eyes and garments for us, with whom we can make it to Jannah and help guard eachother from the temptations that lead to Jahanam. Allahumma Ameen 💕

Asalaamu’alaikoum sister, the only advice I can give is don’t marry someone you’re not attracted to if it will be a barrier to you fulfilling their right to intimacy (and yours, tbh). Sabr and duaa inshaAllah have tawakkul in Allah he is the Most Merciful and the Most High. Khair InshaAllah may Allah bless you with a marriage better and more good beyond what you ask for and are imagining. Ameen 🩷

@Jinan Akh Ameen ! i love the activity idea :) jazakh’Allah Khair ❤️

@Habibatul Aulia Ameen, thank you for the tips ❤️

Asalaamu’alaikoum, I agree with the sisters above and follow the belief that Sadia mentioned. While it is not debatable that there is a hadith barring women from traveling long distances without a mahram, we also are meant to follow what is possible and a middle way. If that is non-negotiable for you, cut it but first discuss it with him. I like to go on women-only retreats/trips so if I was talking to a potential and his non-negotiable was not allowing his wife to travel without a mahram I’d expect him to cut me if we discuss and it’s a non-negotiable for us both because that’s not something I’m willing to sacrifice. Personally to your specific situation , I think that a permanent position non-mahram male driver hired by the fam (if it’s regularly and not an occasional taxi driver being male and the only available and if its not two sisters in the car together each time or otp with a mahram in the case of it being occasional), in my opinion then that’s crazy and it would make sense for them to learn to drive and drive themselves.

@Ayesha Zafar Asalaamu’Alaikoum sis, check out MM’s youtube vid on non-negotiables ! getting crystal on those will grant you clarity on what’s the most important. then i recommemd her videos on what questions to ask, so helpful in giving a starting point and teaching formulas for crafting the actual question in a way that will help elicit from a potential more in-depth answers rather than yes/no or something with a clear right/wrong answer. InshaAllah this helps !