Salaam everyone. Making duaa you all find a pious spouse. I recently had an unsuccessful meeting with a potential who came to the house as the very first step. Initially, he was quite awkward and then afterwards he warmed up and we did have a decent conversation but it was nothing amazing and at times I did feel as though I was bored or didn't really feel it was super dynamic/challenging. However, ultimately I did not find this prospective attractive , which was hard to admit bc his family seemed lovely and the parents hit it off he also seemed like a decent man too. My parents felt as though me saying no based on that was immature and I should have trusted the Islamic process more and I'd love him after marriage. My question is how to approach this barrier of attraction? Most of the time I'm either being rejected in the CV circuit (my community's beauty standards aren't really alligned with myself), but on the flipside often after meetings I struggle to feel enough of an attraction to follow the process through, especially as I'm doing everything with my parents and that tends to expediate the process. From my side I feel a little resentful that just bc I'm not really meeting societal standards I can't expect to feel the slightest bit of attraction to a spouse, my parents keep operating under the pressures of my age as a 26 year old and my past rejections. Also my family are incredibly loving and supporting and i know they just want me happy but we keep clashing on this matter... Any advice/ hard truths will be welcomed.😅

Asalaamu’alaikoum Wa Rahmatullah ladies, with my refined process and serious intentions I’m getting back into the marriage search and vetting bi'ithnillah. I’ve always been picky but admittedly I wasn’t serious (nor prepared for) marriage before this year. I’m the eldest at 22 so my father has yet to act as a Wali for any of his children subhanAllah. With my new process of filtering through the seious and unserious, establishing some compatibility with a mahram chaperone, then hastening to pass them off to my Wali if interest is there; I anticipate some first meetings to be coming up. I’m a lil nervous but also idk what to expect. My parents and I decided first meetings will be at cafes or gardens to gauge public manners and keep some distance initially, and to focus on conversation rather than food. Also, my dad will sit with us (me and potential) with my mom nearby, he will initiate the convo post introductions but step to the side that way the potential isn't looking to him for answers with questions only I can answer bc it’s about me lol. Then my dad will wrap it up after 60-90 mins if it doesn’t naturally conclude early. Any advice or tips on how to not be too shy, do I make eye contact or not, etc… or even just stories of your first meeting ever would be greatly appreciated sisters 💓 Also, I’m in niqab but if a potential gets as far as a first meeting and wants to see my face I’m willing to show them (since attractiveness is important, men are visual and tbh it’s important he’s attractive to me and finds me attractive too) so if anyone has gone through that and has any suggestions on how to not make it awkward and how long to let the look last before placing the niqab back let me know lol.

Would you consider a brother who allows his sisters to travel alone with a non-mahram driver a red flag? It threw me off when I found out about it, even though the family is "religious," but this made me uneasy. His father passed away a long time ago, and the girls are more than the guys, with only 3 brothers, 2 working, one in the city I live in and another in the city her family lives in and one studying who also lives in the same city. I am pretty sure they could've managed a way to ensure their safety. I found out that previously, two of the sisters also travelled alone. It has made me consider what I would expect as a treatment from such a potential because I would not be able to trust him or feel safe knowing this, nor in such situations. Is this supposed to be a hard boundary? It scared me because this is something I would naturally expect, but having heard this, I realise not everyone has this as a basic condition like me, especially considering it is not Islamically allowed for a woman to travel alone.

Assalamu Alaikum sisters Where I live , we do something called a samosa run where the boys family together with the boy come to the girls family. The boy and the girl are allowed to have a conversation for around 30 minutes. Then the boy's mother would tell the girl's mother if he wants to marry her. Then the girl has to decide if she wants to marry him. So what I'm struggling with is how do I know whether this person is someone that I want to marry. How do I know someone's character from 1 conversation?

Salaam everyone, I wanted to share something personal and get some honest advice from sisters who may have gone through something similar. I’m 22 and currently a student. About a year ago, my family and I were speaking to another family for marriage. In the beginning, everything felt really right; our families got along well, conversations were smooth, and there seemed to be strong compatibility in terms of deen, lifestyle, and interests. I spoke to the mother and the son, and both interactions were genuinely good. There was mutual understanding and attraction, and it felt easy to talk to him. But shortly after we started making istikhara, there was a sudden shift. His parents became inconsistent in communication: calls weren’t answered, messages were vague, and overall it created a lot of confusion and anxiety for us. Despite this, the son still expressed interest and even mentioned moving forward with another meeting. During that time, I kept making istikhara, and internally I started feeling uneasy. By around the seventh day, I felt strongly that I shouldn’t go ahead, so I told my parents I didn’t want to continue; even though I really liked him and had hoped it would work out. Now, over a year later, I still find myself thinking about him. I’ve spoken to other potentials since, but I haven’t felt the same level of connection or alignment. It makes me wonder if I made the right decision, or if I let something good go because of fear or mixed signals. At the same time, I also question whether the communication issues from his family were red flags that I shouldn’t ignore. So I wanted to ask: Have any of you experienced something similar? Do you think this is something I should let go of and trust my istikhara, or could it have been a case of wrong timing? Jazakum Allahu khayran in advance for your advice 🤍