@Jinan Akh Ameen wa iyyaki 🫶🏽

@Habibatul Aulia Jazaki Allahu khayran sis 🌸🤍

Wa ‘alaykum assalam sis 💗 First of all, what you’re feeling is so normal - especially because it’s happened recently, and you probably still need time to get used to the idea of it all. Closure rarely comes from the other person. It comes from accepting what already happened. And from what you wrote, deep down you already know why you made your decision. You said: “I was willing to put aside my feelings… but he made it clear his feelings were more important than being there for me.” That right there is your answer. That is the reality of how he showed up for you. That feeling of “maybe we’re meant to find each other again”… be careful with that. Sometimes it’s just attachment, or your heart trying to hold onto something familiar. Especially after a relationship where you invested a lot emotionally 💗 Turn to Allah with istikhara and place your heart in His hands. You ask Allah to guide you to toward what is truly good for you, to distance you from what isn’t, and to make you content with His decree. May Allah ease your heart and replace your pain with peace. May He remove what isn’t good for you and bring you what is better 🤲🏽

Can’t wait, in shaa Allah! 🤩

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh, sister 💗 Don’t think of it as asking questions one by one. That’s what makes it feel like an interview. Instead, think of it as a normal conversation where you go back and forth - sometimes you ask, sometimes you share, and sometimes you just let things flow. You don’t have to control every moment, and even small pauses are completely okay. It’s also important to have a bit of balance in how you bring up topics. Sharing your own thoughts is good, but you don’t always want to start by saying exactly what you prefer every time. If you do, there’s a chance he might just agree with you or say what you want to hear. So sometimes it’s better to let him speak first. You can ask something simple like, “How do you see this?” or “What are your thoughts on…?” and really listen. Then you can share your own perspective after. That way, you get a more honest sense of who he is. Other times, it’s completely fine to open a topic by sharing something about yourself. For example you could say “I have always felt it’s important for me to maintain a social life after marriage, of course within Islamic boundaries. What are your thoughts on that?” A really helpful approach is also to bring in small scenarios or ask about real experiences, instead of only general opinions. For example, instead of just asking how he deals with conflict, you could say: “Can you tell me about a time you had a disagreement with a close friend or family member? How did you handle it?” And beyond what he says, try to observe him as well. Sometimes you learn more from actions than words. If you meet in a setting like a café or restaurant, notice how he treats staff. Is he respectful, patient, and kind? How does he speak about his family? And naturally, you can also get a sense of how much influence his family - like his mother - has in his life, and whether there are healthy boundaries. In terms of topics, yes, there are important things you should touch on. The most important is his deen. Not just whether he prays, but what Islam actually looks like in his daily life. Does he prioritize salah? Does he want a home where Allah is remembered? Is he trying to grow?

@Yas El Wa iyyaki 💗 Alhamdulillah that it was helpful! May Allah guide you to what is best for you 🤲🏽

Assalamu ‘alaykum sis 💗 We mainly talked about non-negotiables in marriage. The main point was that non-negotiables are the things you absolutely cannot compromise on. For example, something like not being willing to move is very clear and black-and-white, so it’s easy to check early on. A big takeaway was: Don’t give people the answers when you’re getting to know them. Instead, ask questions in a way that lets them reveal who they are, rather than you telling them what you’re looking for and having them mirror it back.