Hey VIPs, here's the agenda for our next workshop (this evening), let me know if there's anything you want to add Mental barriers - how to overcome... - Responses don’t come to you quickly / need time to process - Fall into the defensiveness trap without realising - Start cool, but gradually escalate - Background stress makes you sensitive - Think "If I don’t address this now, bigger problems later" (reputation, precedence, expectations) - Rumination (your response bothers you long afterwards) - Attached to accuracy / need to correct their “truth” / teach them a lesson - Caring too much what they think Practical tips - Non defensive (unreactive) vs defensive (try to convince them) - Assertive (enforce boundaries) vs aggressive (controlling) - The pause - Stare down - Cold shoulder, - Change topic - “Oh you!” - Agree that THEY believe it - Yup - Double down - Ask them to repeat it - Curious about motives - Confusion about their morality - Advanced tricks

Most nice guys don’t ruin their marriages by being selfish. They actually ruin them by being helpful. I know this because I’ve done this. Right after my daughter was born, my wife was suffering a lot physically, and I relapsed really hard into being a fixer. This created a massive disconnect between us. While I thought I was helping, I was actually controlling. I was trying to prevent her from having emotions that I found uncomfortable, and that made me build up a lot of resentment too. If you’ve ever walked into your house and felt like you’re having problems dumped on you the minute you walk through the door, that your help is not being appreciated, that the intimacy and your sex life have faded, and you don’t know why this happened or when it started, this interview with relationship coach and intimacy expert Monica Tanner is going to help you sort that out. We’re going to break down something that men completely misunderstand: the difference between fixing and supporting. We’re going to have a look at why resentment builds and how it destroys marriages and relationships, especially for people pleasers, and we’re going to explore how this creates an environment that is not emotionally safe, which is the leading cause of intimacy and connection problems later down the line. Monica is going to help us unpack the chain reaction: how fixing leads to expectations, which leads to resentment, which leads to intimacy issues - and what you can do to break out of the cycle. So get a pen and paper ready, because this episode is absolutely packed with practical tips from someone who really knows what they’re talking about… If you prefer written content, click here to keep reading the full written version on Dan’s blog. Or click on your preferred option below: - Watch on YouTube - Listen on Soundcloud - Listen on Apple Podcasts - Listen on Spotify - Listen on Amazon Audible

Thanks for voting in the poll guys. The next podcast I'll create will be about the narcissism in Nice Guy Syndrome, and the weird inept god complex we suffer from. What questions would you like to see answered in this episode?

Hey guys Thanks for all your feedback on the previous post about how to improve the engagement in this group. I went live today to talk about these ideas and what changes will happen in this group. I'll wait for your responses before I make those changes happen, so please take a moment to watch the video below or read through the summary notes and let me know your thoughts. This is especially important for those of you wanting to access this group for free! Cheers Dan

Hey guys Firstly, my deepest appreciation to all of you for being part of the group, especially those who interact on the feed and bring some ideas and life into the discussions. I have analytics on Skool that show me many of you are "lurking" - I can see that people read posts and visit the group, occasionally comment (usually when I'm doing some sort of free giveaway), but otherwise don't really post or support others with comments. I want to know what I can do to improve that. I want this to be a place where you feel encouraged and safe to participate actively, help others and share your experience along the way. I've tried a few things already, like 30 day challenges and polls and giveaways, but most of you remain silent. I know one sure-fire way is to make this group paid-only (remove the free membership tier). This is a last resort for me, but I'm running out of ideas. If you want this group to remain free, comment below (or DM me privately if you're not ready to be seen publicly) and let me know what I can do to increase your active participation. Let's build this thing together and have everyone giving in to the group. Cheers Dan