Morning guys, I'm putting this post up because I've had a really bad morning. I actually had a really good day yesterday, but I've woken up this morning and everything has hit me at once. I don't know why I feel this way today, but I hate just sitting here in silence, doing nothing. Living in separate houses and only seeing her when I see the kids is really hard. I feel like by sitting here and doing nothing, I'm not fighting for her. I want my wife back. I want my family back. I want to come home to everything we've built together. I know I've broken her trust. I know I've let her down. I know she's expected me to change before, and I haven't. Now she's given up, checked out, and we're living separate lives with low or no contact. What I struggle with most is feeling like I'm doing absolutely nothing. How can I expect to fix things by doing nothing? I just needed to get this off my chest this morning.

Good afternoon everyone. First off hello, and thanks again for the help so far @Mark Cox My situation is like most here, after 21 years of being with my wife, 10 of them married, she turned round to me on the 19/04/26 that she no longer wanted to be in the relationship and marriage. No other people are involved from either side, we slowly over time grew distant and through a lot of my actions and the way I was in the relationship and marriage she decided enough was enough. In this month I have struggled so much with my mental state of mind and my actions that only shows her she made the right decision to leave. We have 2 children, so we still see each other nearly every day, I did move out our family home, as I felt it was the right thing to do as if staying it would have only made matters worse. I’ve made a lot of errors so far, I’ve done the begging, the pleading, changed my whole lifestyle to show her I can be the man she deserves and while doing it for me as well to become a better man all round I am doing it for her too. She has no feelings what so ever and has said on the day we ended she felt relieved, no more stress, didn’t miss me and feels nothing inside, this plays in my head daily and breaks me everytime. She hasn’t really opened up to anyone, friends or family where I’m a broken man daily. I can’t see a future without her and will do all I can to save my marriage, I’ve always had a lack of patience and I want her to say everyday “oh ok let’s try 1 more time” but I know I’m going to have to run about 100 marathons and hope she is waiting at that finish line. Currently I know deep down that’s highly unlikely. I’ve broken down so many times when I’ve seen her, and I know that’s only pushing her further away I need to get out of this mindset and try and be normal and myself and show her I can still be the man and the husband as I’ve said she deserves. I know I was 90/10 to blame for the break down and I know in time I can show her and change for the good.

Hi lads, about a month ago I found out my wife of 10 years is having an emotional affair. I’ve spent the last month having a nervous breakdown. I’ve been questioning myself why 24/7 and trying to monitor her every move. After research and reviewing channels like this, I have very much realized this is about shifting focus to working on self improvement and taking complete ownership of working on myself, I am starting to accept the marriage is done (for now) but the stage I’m struggling with is finding the right structured self improvement steps I can take right now. So far I’ve started to go to a gym and improved my diet, I’m a more active listener with my family and prioritize family over my work. Where I’m struggling is with socializing and meeting new friends. I think socializing would help me improve my communication skills and keep my mind focus on me, I’ve enjoyed sharing my life experiences with others and hearing their stories. Does anyone have any ideas on joining social groups or activities I could be doing for self improvement? Any ideas would be a massive help!

Yesterday was tough. I was in my feelings and thinking to much. Glad I was at work. I was just thinking about the relationship and the closeness we once had, missing my wife, her touch. Got home and I hit the weights to ease my mind. Later we were sitting and conversing, I asked if she wanted her feet rubbed, her response was no I don’t think we should do that anymore since your (me) love language is touch and I don’t want you to think that means anything for the relationship bc it’d be unfair for you. I told her it wasn’t about an outcome, no big deal, and I just let it go. I feel like she’s really testing to see how I’ll react, there were a few times over the weekend that I feel were test. On Friday I noticed she was doing some figures for her own place, like she wanted me to see that’s what she was doing, but also in a way she didn’t want me seeing bc she closed up the notebook. I calmly said hey seems like you need time to yourself and walked away. I know time is in my favor and I’ve got to continue the focus on myself. At times our brain will lean to why are you even trying. I’m trying and doing for ME! Also should I try giving her more space since we’re living in the same house??

Currently going through an amicable break up (her instigation NOT mine), we haven’t had any arguments, but we’ve hurt each-other a lot in the past. I’m a violent alcoholic. She’s been unfaithful. A lot of water under the bridge. But I know for sure she’s not fully checked out.