This is primarily aimed at Mark to offer some insight but I’m completely happy for anyone else to chip in with their thoughts…..without listing every single issue a quick brief Problems in marriage for 5-6 years. I totally admit we are both at fault for that. Not keeping score or who was worse. I felt horrible in the marriage mainly as I felt it slipping away and nothing I tried worked. I was at a terribly low moment, worst ever, and I spoke to and then met another woman. Nothing sexual at all happened. One off moment. But it’s a betrayal of trust. I accept I am at fault fully for that. Wife found out in July 2025. She asked me to move out for a few days then allowed me to return. Emotions were high. Occasionally some intimacy but mainly withdrawal. Through one of those moments….we conceived. And now we have an 8 week old son; adding to our daughters of 12 and 10. In September last year wife told me we are separated. Finito. However there’s been ambivalence since then. Moments of warmth and connection and moments of coldness. Wife has informed me she’s moving out. It’s happening in July. However we have had hugs and cuddles at night. We even had sex 2 days purely. Purely in the moment. To me it feels like it’s not totally totally dead on her part despite whatever she says and the actions she’s now taking. Of course I totally get it’s hard to give any opinions based on a super high level basic history overview but my question was…..even in a physical separation as we are about to embark on….is there genuine chances to reconcile or is it game over?? TIA Adam

Hi all, Just a reminder that tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. UK / 12:00 p.m. Eastern, I'll be going live for this week's free training. A link to the workshop is here - https://www.skool.com/live/bH8gwcd3VlQ?ajw=1 or can be found in the Calendar page. This session is all about why your wife isn't responding to your changes, even when you genuinely feel like you're doing things differently. I'll also be sharing a practical method for communicating your changes in a way she can actually trust, so they become something she can experience, rather than just hear about. As always, we'll start with a workshop-style training, followed by plenty of time for your questions in the chat.

Just helping jodi with a few things round her house her mate messaged about having some jobs done at her house because the work man is fit I joked to my wife that will be you in a few years or your turn lesbian joking She goes no if what you want to happen (getting back together) doesn't happen i will be a nun I had a little smile to myself that's the 1st time she has acknowledged that it is possible a few weeks ago it was I need to be selfish and be on my own and she couldn't ever trust me again! Massive progress since joining this group Getting ready to go and go my night shift I asked her if there is anything she needs before I leave and kissed her on the head to say bye and she then asked me if I want to stay over 2mo to make things easier when she has to leave for work on Saturday But really started to believe this might just might happen and if it does i will cherish and love her everyday because I have been such a idiot! Keep believing fellas do it for you end whatever crap cycle your in we are all worth so much more!

If you missed last week's live training, I've just uploaded the replay. In this session, I explore a question that gets talked about a lot, but rarely answered clearly: what does it actually mean to "grow as a man"? We look at why information alone isn't enough to rebuild a marriage, how genuine transformation takes place, and the specific changes I see successful men make as they move from crisis to connection. I also introduce the five stages of marriage recovery, explaining why different stages require different approaches, and why using the right tools at the right time makes all the difference. Along the way, I share real client stories that illustrate what lasting change looks like in practice, and why consistency, rather than quick fixes, is what ultimately rebuilds trust and attraction. If you're serious about becoming the man capable of leading your marriage in a different direction, I think you'll find this one particularly valuable. Let me know your biggest takeaway in the comments after you've watched it.

I sensed Polly seems low and distant last night. We were both at the house for a few hours in the afternoon as it was my day with the kids but she had nowhere to go. After the kids went down I went to leave but said I noticed she was low and asked if she was ok. this lead to an almost 2 hour chat. It began with her saying she is having a bad day and feeling trapped at not being able to move forward with her finances and not having a space for her. She moved into relationship chat. The takeaways of it were she is still very strongly seeing separation as the only option, and there is no hint at reconciliation on the cards. She got into all the ways I had hurt her and not showed up like the man she thought she married. I wasn’t the calm stable rock she had initially married, but I had met her ups and down with my own. She said it was like having another child, and my emotional immaturity had lead her to feel like my Mum and that killed attraction. The lens she is viewing our entire marriage and relationship with is very dark, she can only see the negatives. When I mentioned some of the positives she just could not see them. She is dead clear that she needs to prioritize her needs now, and although she is recognizing the changes I am making, there wasn’t an ounce of hope given or reflection that the new me might ever have a place in her heart. She said ‘we will always be friends Dan, we get on’ but she didn’t wish for anything more. I know she is conflicted about how to move the separation forward and the guilt towards the kids, but I didn’t see any signs of her wavering on her decision. Just someone struggling with how to actually do it, practical and financially. I had misread recent signs of her softening and allowing me around more as her enjoying time with me and maybe starting to question herself, but I didn’t get that tonight, she seems as resolute as ever, and said those family moment had been hard for her. I tried to ask the Q again, what would a healthy version of this marriage look like if we were to reconcile? She said its a very hard question, and really struggled to put together a reply. But she said someone who was mature and calm and supported her and loved her. But I could see she was in psychological turmoil today, she couldnt view anything positive.