She filed the divorce papers today. Doing some reflection. Staying calm and grounded, which is very difficult with that news. Don’t really have much else to say. Hard hit.

Not how I expected the day to go. I get home from work, as I’m getting ready for my evening walk, my wife asked me to join her for a talk. Well she had divorce papers. I stayed calm and grounded, took ownership of what she said her reasons were (me). Not sure what to do other than keep showing up as the man I’m becoming. It sure does suck. Seems like this is more than a test.

Any advice on wether I should ask this evening if she would be prepared for a talk it’s been 3 months and I have held back and gave her space to regulate her emotional state etc after going through my phone in early Feb.. or do I wait a little longer

Hi All, as an introduction to me and what is happening. Myself and my wife will have been married 25 years in September. In November last year, on a walk she asked me if I thought we were drifting apart. I said no as I honestly did not think we were. A brief chat ensued where she thought we were and mentioned things about me that annoyed her. I said I would take action but earlier this year during a few words at bed time she said she felt she did not love me any more. I immediately went defensive and a long argument/discussion ensued. Since then I have increased focus on my previous failings and have given her as much space as possible and this week she is away with friends as part of her 50th birthday celebrations. I have also been reading lots of resources and have spoken to a therapist and lifestyle coach recently and feel in a better place personally. I am hoping that being away has given her a lot of the space she needed but am obviously aware that I cannot expect much change in a short period of time though recently I have seen positive glimpses.

Don’t have any where else to go with this. I’m really freaking struggling this week!! I’m craving my wife, her touch, everything that was there before she built her wall. I’m keeping it together around her but damn I miss her. How do you miss someone that’s still in the same house? I want to tell her to just leave if she’s leaving but that’s not what I truly want, it just seems that would make the hurt not as bad. Glad I have this group to go to, just needed a place to put this.