Most men think their marriage suddenly collapsed. But in reality, relationships usually move through stages: Comfort Emotional drift Resentment Withdrawal Crisis Understanding this pattern helps men make sense of what happened. Reflection question: Looking back, which stage do you think your relationship was in before separation? If you want to talk about your situation, you can book a call here: https://calendly.com/mark-markcoxcoaching/marriage-strategy-call Reminder -live Q&A in this group Thursday at 5 pm.

Im realizing so much since I’ve began working on myself. This is the hardest task that I’ve experienced, self growth. I’m seeing that my behavior has been the biggest factor of why my relationship has got where it is. I used to blame my wife for her behavior but she was just mirroring mine for the most part. I’m taking radical accountability for myself and why I’m where I am bc I’m not even the man I’d look up to. I became weak, needy, bitchy, not consistent, blame full, lazy. I was reactive instead of responsive and I didn’t listen, I pretty much was acting like a child in my relationship instead of a man. I wondered why my wife didn’t want sex…. I’m seeing why now. I used sex to regulate my emotions, I thought just bc I was the husband and all that I did that sex should just be given. Wrong!! I’m not sure why I’m writing this, maybe for accountability, maybe for finally realizing my bullshit. I’m trying to get past whatever the outcome will be with my wife. Im going to have faith that I can become the man that I’d would look up to and the man that others would want to be. Stay positive guys. We can do this!!

Had an interesting interaction with my wife yesterday. She started a new job online, she called me very upset and in a panic, she was trying not to cry bc her mind went blank on the steps she was to do to get started. I told her to just breath, that everything was going to be ok, that the situation was scary since it was her first day and that she was very smart and that it would come to mind how to get started. Even got a hug that evening. I’m going to continue to be the best version of myself for moments like this. She showed vulnerability that hasn’t been shown in quite some time.

Had a great weekend with the wife, although she’s still withdrawn from the relationship and set on separating. We talked, laughed, shared household chores, ran errands together. She even laid down and let me massage her and she fell asleep. I think all of this is the hardest to deal with, bc what does this stuff mean?! Does she want the relationship to work?? It also can make you want to chase, bc that stuff feels good. I’m doing my best to stay in my lane. I’m trying to show up as a man she can count on, and watching for the bids for connection. In my 45 years self improvement is the hardest thing I’ve faced. If anyone has advice or anything similar to share please do.

One of the most powerful turning points for men in this journey is what I call the Ownership Shift. Moving from: “She ruined the marriage.” to “Where did I fail to lead the relationship well?” Ownership is not about blame. Ownership gives you power. Because if you contributed to the problem… you can become part of the solution. Reflection question: What is one thing you now recognise you could have handled differently in your marriage? If you want guidance working through this process, you can book a call here: https://calendly.com/mark-markcoxcoaching/marriage-strategy-call And remember -Thursday 5pm I’ll be live in the group.